Professor: It must seem like I’m beating you over the head with a frozen chicken breast.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Archive for the ‘Connecticut’ Category
If You’d Like to Know How Sound Carries, Consult the School Nurse
Biology teacher: [badly draws a woman singing into a microphone, which looks suspiciously like a woman about to give head] If you take this, for example…
[class laughs]Biology teacher: [steps away from board and sees what class is laughing about] Uh…[erases drawing]… We’re just not going to draw today.
Connecticut
Doesn’t Look Good
Young dude in car to children getting off school bus: You are the future!
Westport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Or an Etch-a-Sketch Masterpiece.
Guy: So how’s it going with Tom?
Girl: Good. He’s stuck with me.
Guy: You’re like a virus.
Girl: No, I’m more like something good you can’t shake. Like a baby.
Derby, Connecticut
And, in Our Lab Session, We’ll Demonstrate It.
Professor: And tomorrow, we’ll talk about the suck knob.
University of Hartford
Connecticut
After I Spent All That Time Photoshopping That Dick Into a Pacifier
Freshman girl: Well, like, this was from like 2 am the day it was due. I mean, the first one I submitted was of me with a pacifier in my mouth, and they told me it was inappropriate at the last minute. I mean, like, why couldn’t they have told me that in January when I submitted it?
University
Connecticut
Overheard by: You really needed to be told?
Sacred Heart Boasts the Naughtiest Librarians in the Land
Librarian: Hello, Justin. I’d shake hands with you but my hands are very sticky.
Sacred Heart University
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jesse
Rip Taylor Was Born That Way
Guy about his brother: His only emotion is glitter.
Friend: That’s true of all eight-year-olds.
Guy: No, dude, you don’t get it. One. Emotion.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Harry
Ha-Ha, Made You Panic!
Professor: Now, in life there are rules. The school has rules, this class has rules… But some rules are meant to be broken. One of this school’s rules is that teachers are not supposed to show their undergarments to their students…
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Every Time They Say “Nietzsche” We’ll Do a Tequila Shot
Professor: Let’s liven things up with a documentary about Nietzsche!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
