Librarian: Hello, Justin. I’d shake hands with you but my hands are very sticky.
Sacred Heart University
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jesse
Archive for the ‘Connecticut’ Category
Rip Taylor Was Born That Way
Guy about his brother: His only emotion is glitter.
Friend: That’s true of all eight-year-olds.
Guy: No, dude, you don’t get it. One. Emotion.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Harry
Ha-Ha, Made You Panic!
Professor: Now, in life there are rules. The school has rules, this class has rules… But some rules are meant to be broken. One of this school’s rules is that teachers are not supposed to show their undergarments to their students…
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Every Time They Say “Nietzsche” We’ll Do a Tequila Shot
Professor: Let’s liven things up with a documentary about Nietzsche!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
I Got My NASCAR Merit Badge!
Dancing girl #1: How do you know how to line dance?
Dancing girl #2: I was a Girl Scout!
Dancing girl #1: What? Are all Girl Scouts rednecks?
Connecticut
Yes, But It’s Pronounced “Canadia”
Professor: Back then they actually had Hell located on the map. It was in the north.
Student: In Canada?
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Your Pig Anus Story Haunts My Dreams
Bookstore worker to friend: Will you stop saying things I’ll remember the rest of my life?
New Haven, Connecticut
How Do You Tap Dance in One?
Frustrated neighbor: It’s only gay if we do it outside a vagina!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
And Here I Sit with the Stubble of My Dreams
Angry neighbor: Well, obviously he didn’t appreciate the shaved vagina, or he would have called.
Elizabeth Street
Derby, Connecticut
The Original Miracle Worker Screenplay Was Less Than Inspiring.
Male teacher talking about student: Yeah, that ear infection made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The implant.
Meanest lady ever: Her life is over. You can’t be deaf and ugly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She’s five!
Meanest lady ever: By six she’ll barely be a person.
Fairfield, Connecticut
