Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

To Errol Is Human. My Dick: Divine.

Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Is That a Lip-Liner and EpiPen in One?

Hottie: Here ya go — put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It’s not a man-purse! It’s a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: … No.
Hottie: Yeah, right — it’s a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]

Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky

Just As Long As It's Hot, Steamy Coffee, Okay?

20-something girl, skipping over to expensive jewelery shop window: Ooooh! Sparkly things!
20-something guy: Fuck.
20-something girl, eyes shining with delight: Oh… Look at the rings… They're beautiful! (sighs)
20-something guy: No.
20-something girl: Look at that one! It's cheap!
20-something guy: It's £450!
20-something girl: You just got paid! Oh, look! That one's even prettier and sparklier!
20-something guy: Granted… But there's also no price tag… So it's probably gonna be £1,000 at least.
20-something girl, resignedly: Yeah. (perks up) But you're my friend… (pleading voice) Buy me a ring… Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssse!
20-something guy: Look, for a £1,000 ring I'm going to expect at least a couple of shags.
20-something girl: True. Oh, well. Let's go get coffee. (skips off)

Burlington Arcade
London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

You Could Finish It for Your 100th Birthday

Girlfriend: Have you ever touched another man’s armpit hair?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Well, yours are really gossamer-y. If you shaved them off, you could weave a little swatch of, like, satin… And then you could make a quilt!
Boyfriend: Or a patchwork jacket!

Ypsilanti, Michigan