Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

Pro­fes­sion­al Jel­lo Wrestling Has Its Prat­falls, Sweet­ie

Girl: But I show­ered for you this morn­ing!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I did­n’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morn­ing, and now I’m just go­ing to get dirty. You bet­ter pay my wa­ter bill, for all these show­ers you make me take.

Quiznos
Mi­a­mi, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Be­lieves in no-strings-at­tached hy­gene

Might Even Trump the Pop­u­lar­i­ty of Preg­nant or Fat?

Black guy: You keep hear­ing about how racist Britain’s get­ting, it’s pret­ty scary.
White girl­friend: Oh, to­tal­ly. I think that be­fore any­one in that coun­try over 40 is al­lowed to make a pub­lic state­ment they should take a test that’s like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they should­n’t be al­lowed to say any­thing.
Black guy: That would be an awe­some game show.

Cal­gary
Al­ber­ta
Cana­dia

In­stead, I’ll Dis­cuss Your Pain With This Com­plete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas sta­tion at­ten­dant: She slept with the en­tire foot­ball team in high school.
Girl­friend: Maybe, but I still would­n’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Re­al­ly? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

Two Great Tastes That Taste Hor­ri­bleTo­geth­er

Sev­en­teen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can’t do any­thing right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with her­maph­ro­dites? It’s called Re­al Chicks with Re­al Dicks, for fuck­’s sake.
Boyfriend (in thick ac­cent): I’m sor­ry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.

Man­ches­ter, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: tay­lor