Archive for the ‘Creepsters’ Category

Es­pe­cial­ly the One from Lit­tle House on the Prairie

Very ob­nox­ious drunk man to long-suf­fer­ing wait­ress: Hey, what’s your name, any­way?
Wait­ress (cold­ly): Melis­sa.
Drunk man (soft­ly): Awww, my daugh­ter’s name is Melis­sa.
Wait­ress: Well, I’m sor­ry to be the one to tell you this, but we usu­al­ly turn out slut­ty.

Bar
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

The Tech­ni­cal Term Is “Cell­mates”

Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp ob­ject close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Se­ri­ous­ly. Would­n’t it be great if you were fuck­ing some­one’s ribs, and just as you came you punc­tured their lung, and with their last dy­ing breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?

Bid­de­ford, Maine

I Sure Hope So!

Loud man in fa­tigues: Wow! Y’all look like Char­lie’s An­gels. I did­n’t re­al­ize how beau­ti­ful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fa­tigues: Wow! You have beau­ti­ful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Um­mm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whis­per­ing: What’s a toe-jam? Is it some­thing re­al­ly gross and in­ap­pro­pri­ate?

Wash­ing­ton, DC