Archive for the ‘Crimes’ Category

Or Is That Necrophil­ia?

So­cial prob­lems teacher: So what are some so­cial prob­lems that af­fect us to­day?
Fe­male stu­dent: Mur­der?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any oth­ers?
Male stu­dent: Nar­cis­sism?
Teacher: I don’t quite un­der­stand…
Male stu­dent: Well if peo­ple are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…

Grand Rapids Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege
Grand Rapids, Michi­gan

While I’m Sober, for Once.

Suit la­dy #1: So how was your week­end?
Suit la­dy #2: Oh, it was re­al­ly good. I went to a jail.
Suit la­dy #1: Re­al­ly? I’ve nev­er been to a jail.
Suit la­dy #2: Yeah, nei­ther had I… it was re­al­ly good.
Suit la­dy #1: I’ve al­ways want­ed to go to a jail.
Suit la­dy #2: Yeah, you prob­a­bly will… I thought “See­ing as I’m putting peo­ple in there, I should prob­a­bly find out what it’s like.”


Over­heard by: Cassie Bar­low

…To Cut Coke with

Girl #1: So I un­plugged the phone be­fore I left, so the school can’t call my mom to say I’m not at school.
Girl #2: Oh, that’s pret­ty smart.
Girl #1: I al­so took my dad’s cred­it card.

Chica­go, Illi­nois