Archive for the ‘Cum’ Category

Or Should I Just Come on It?

Man whis­per­ing in­to cell: But hon­ey, I did­n’t fuck her! I just came on her! … Hey, you want that Poly­ne­sian sauce they got here, right?

Chick-fil‑A, Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

I’ll Stick to My Pla­cen­ta Face-Cream, Thank You Very Much

Male wed­ding-go­er to fe­male wed­ding-go­er: Oh, you guys work here? Ex­cel­lent! My sis­ter’s hus­band, oh, I mean my broth­er-in-law, sells se­men. Bull se­men.

Over­heard by: best pick-up line ever

The Tech­ni­cal Term Is “Cell­mates”

Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp ob­ject close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Se­ri­ous­ly. Would­n’t it be great if you were fuck­ing some­one’s ribs, and just as you came you punc­tured their lung, and with their last dy­ing breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?

Bid­de­ford, Maine

What Hap­pens When Mom Is­n’t Around to Stop Him

Greasy man, with greasy chick hang­ing on him: On the walls! Cum all over the win­dows! Cum cum cum, I loooove to cum!

Har­vard Square
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Sa­van­nah and Ale­na

Holy Shit, I Nev­er Thought of It That Way

Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pock­et pussy. I think they’re ex­pen­sive, though. Un­less I can find a used one on­line.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy some­thing that some oth­er dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that oth­er guys have cum in be­fore, haven’t you? At least a pock­et pussy can be put in the dish­wash­er. Sure beats some chick re­fus­ing to show­er!

Plan­et Fit­ness
Dorch­ester, Mass­a­chu­setts