Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

The One with Big, Glossy Pic­tures In­stead of Words

Man to store em­ploy­ee: It’s one of those re­al es­tate in­vest­ment books, the yel­low ones.
Em­ploy­ee: Let’s see, fol­low me… Is this what you were look­ing for?
Man: No, no, that’s the one for id­iots, I want the one for dum­mies.

Barnes & No­ble
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Lisa

She Did­n’t Try Very Hard

Eu­ro­trash: Can we sit out­side? We want to smoke.
Host­ess: Sor­ry, the pa­tio just closed.
Eu­ro­trash: If I tell you you’re pret­ty, would you let us sit out­side?
Host­ess: I can’t let you do that, sir.
Eu­ro­trash: You are very pret­ty.
Host­ess: I’ll see what I can do.

Restau­rant
Toron­to, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: flossy.

Chives Are the Re­spectable Re­pub­li­can Cloth Coat of Herbs

Cus­tomer: I’ll have a large hot choco­late, a choco­late glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Dri­ve-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Cus­tomer: Smoked salmon.
Dri­ve-thru grunt: Oh, we don’t have that kind.
Cus­tomer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Dri­ve-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Cus­tomer: Uh…yeah.

Ban­gor, Maine

Over­heard by: just want­ed a cof­fee

And We Can’t Help You

Fraz­zled fe­male cus­tomer: Oh, you have to change my last name on the ac­count, too. I got di­vorced…
Sales as­sis­tant: Con­grat­u­la­tions!

Ver­i­zon Wire­less
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: i just want my phone up­grade