And You Stole Me from a Playground!

Little boy, standing next to a car: Daddy, this isn’t our car! Daddy, what are you doing? This isn’t our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you’ve got to stop saying that when we’re in parking lots. [to a couple walking by] I just got a new car.
Little boy: No you didn’t!

AMC Theatres
Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: they steal cars, dont they?

See –Look at Her Go to Town on That Man’s Shoe

Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She’ll kiss worse things in her life.

Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Nothing Your Mother Needs to Know About

Dad to five-year-old son: Do you want to get a practice doughnut?

Downyflake Donuts
Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: we were also practicing before real breakfast

But You Shouldn’t Talk That Way about Mom

Dad: When I came in it smelled really great, but it actually tasted really disgusting.
Daughter: Same with poop.

Arizona

But They Have Frosting!

Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they’re… disgustingly poisonous!

Carrollton, Georgia

Overheard by: Kez

Guess It’s Montessori School for You Then

Dad, changing son’s diaper: Why don’t you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?

New Jersey

Dad’s a Committed Mythical Traditionalist

Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don’t have any. Unicorns aren’t real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don’t exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they’d probably be from Europe.

Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

Get in Line

Father to crying son holding Spider-Man card: That damn Tobey Maguire is ruining my life!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/with-great-power-comes-great.html

Overheard by: artwork

…and Rent All the Cool Cars

Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We’ll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…

O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

You’ll Pay, Like All the Others, When My Time Machine Is Complete

Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You’re a pea-brain, Dad!

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings