Four-year-old boy to group of mothers: Guess what!
Group: What?
Four-year-old boy, excited: I just peed standing up!
Boy's father: That's not something we tell people!
Children's Room, Katonah Library
Katonah, New York
Overheard by: amused librarian
Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category
The Wine Will Reveal Her True Self.
Father to young daughter in department store: I'm just going to get her a bottle of wine since I don't know what a coverup is.
Falls Church, Virginia
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
The Wolf Was No Match for Grandma
Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She's married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.
Train
Manchester
England
Fine, Call It “Guano” If That Makes You Feel Better
Man to son: Stop talking about vampire bats and focus on your poop.
San Diego, California
That's Why I Married Her, Sweetie
Dad, leading three-year-old girl to bathroom: You need to go potty? You can sit on the potty in here.
Three-year-old girl: No, that potty's not for me. That's for mommy. She has a big butt.
Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
You're No Pussy, Dad
Teenage girl to father: I didn't come out of her vagina, okay? I don't have to respect her.
Father: Well, I guess you don't respect me either, cause you didn't come out of my vagina!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: made my day
Over by the Vulvic Republic
Heavy guy looking at atlas: What’s a ‘labia’?
Son: One of those Eastern European countries.
Barnes & Noble
Peoria, Illinois
In Case You’re Curious…
Little boy: Dad, what’s a “brer” rabbit?
Father: A rabbit with a lot of brer in it.
Magic Kingdom
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Natalie
You’ll Love the Electric Highchair, Buddy
Happy dad to little kid: Capital punishment is fun!
Morgantown, West Virginia