Mom: Did you hear that Harry Lee died?
20-something daughter: Yea, and Sylvester Stallone came to the funeral, I thought that was odd.
Previously uninterested dad: Interesting fact about Sylvester Stallone- he has a penial implant.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Little girl: I love you, pole.
[She kisses the pole.]
Father: Don’t kiss the pole! Keep it rated G!
Outside a Dim Sum Shop
Alameda, California
Impatient father to 5-year-old girl in toilet stall: Mary, hurry up, what are you doing in there?
Mary: I was just thinking about how great I am.
Men's Room, Airport
Fort Myers, Florida
Five-year-old boy: Daddy?
Father: Yes?
Five-year-old boy: When I grow up, I want to marry you.
Father: Uhm, you can't do that. What about your friend, Alex?
Five-year-old boy: Hmmm. Okay. I think I'll marry Alex instead.
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Timothy
Father to son, on golf course: Yeah, while you were away I though about hiring someone to rape me.
Son: What?
Father: It's supposed to really improve your golf swing!
Eagle, Colorado
Father shouting out of house: Jacinta! Get off that cow! You'll ruin your communion dress!
Limerick
Ireland
Dad to five-year-old son: Do you want to get a practice doughnut?
Downyflake Donuts
Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: we were also practicing before real breakfast
Boy: Dad, why do toilets flush?
Dad, irritated: I don’t know.
Boy: I think it is so no one can steal the poop.
Bathroom
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Pooper Snooper
Tough-looking guy with eight-year-old: Don't go over there! Dirty, gross stuff over there, dirty people go there.
Kid, climbing through railing bars: Druggies!
Dad: Don't say that around here! Daddy doesn't want to have to fight anyone.
Chinatown
Downtown Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: al
Dad to son: I don't need to pay someone 50 cents to tell me that I'm overweight.
Pheasant Lane Mall, New Hampshire