Dad to son, passing Valentine’s Day t‑shirt display: These are kind of nice for your mom, no?
Son: It’s for mom, what do I care?
City Center Mall
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: Nathan
Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category
My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am
Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad
Your Birthday’s Not for Another Two Weeks
Dad: Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside?
Nine-year-old boy: I don’t know… ‘Cause I feel like it.
Dad: Well, take them off. You’re not a gangster, pimp, or high… yet.
Chinook Theatre
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Hannah
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that’s the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!
[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?
Great Escape Theater
Illinois
Overheard by: The Surly Usher
Spelled “Shove On”
Blonde: Ohhh my god! How adorable is he! [Her two friends agree, cooing.]Baby daddy holding infant: Thank you, girls.
Blonde: Can I hold him?
Baby daddy: Yeah, sure… Here you go.
Blonde: Awww, I love him! What’s his name?
Baby daddy: Uhhh… Shit, I know this… Shavon? Shavawn?
Blonde: You don’t even know your son’s name?!
Baby daddy: Shoot, I did earlier. Shavon! Yeah… That’s it. Damn, and I helped name this one, too.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hot child in the city
And Stop Pulling the Pork!
(five-year-old boy is slapping and punching packages of beef and pork)
Father: Josh! Stop slapping the meat.
Bystander: (laughs out loud)
Father (hissing): No! Not that!
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
The Pictures of You Are What Count
Dad to little boy: If it comes between your life and this camera, save the camera!
Animal Kingdom, Walt Disney World
Florida
The Kid Used to Yell “Boink Me, Daddy!”
Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
What Kind Of a Boy Gives Hugs, Anyway?
Man to son, coming out of restroom: After what you tried to do to Tigger I’m not sure if you deserve that.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tracy
