Dad: When I came in it smelled really great, but it actually tasted really disgusting.
Daughter: Same with poop.
Arizona
Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category
But They Have Frosting!
Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they’re… disgustingly poisonous!
Carrollton, Georgia
Overheard by: Kez
Guess It’s Montessori School for You Then
Dad, changing son’s diaper: Why don’t you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?
New Jersey
Dad’s a Committed Mythical Traditionalist
Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don’t have any. Unicorns aren’t real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don’t exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they’d probably be from Europe.
Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Get in Line
Father to crying son holding Spider-Man card: That damn Tobey Maguire is ruining my life!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/with-great-power-comes-great.html
Overheard by: artwork
…and Rent All the Cool Cars
Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We’ll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…
O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
You’ll Pay, Like All the Others, When My Time Machine Is Complete
Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You’re a pea-brain, Dad!
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings
The Unkindest Cold Cut Of All
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you’re not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Freud’s Children Were His Primary Inspiration
Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn’t be!
Dad: That’s right! Somewhere they shouldn’t be!
Austria
And Then We’ll Hold This Nice Man Up.
Father with two small sons dressed in Halloween costumes, walking into liquor store: Okay, guys, now pick out the kind of whiskey you want and go put it up on the counter.
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
