Archive for the ‘Death & dying’ Category

We Can Bond by Watch­ing the Footage To­geth­er Lat­er

Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died to­day, but they aren’t say­ing how.
Col­lege daugh­ter: A house blew up this morn­ing… Well, a mo­bile home, ac­tu­al­ly.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
Col­lege daugh­ter: Well, no. They’re un­re­lat­ed. Ac­tu­al­ly, I’m just try­ing to up­stage you… But a house re­al­ly did blow up.

Ap­ple­ton, Wis­con­sin

Andie Mc­Dow­ell’s Char­ac­ter in Four Wed­dings and a Fu­ner­al Was Kind Of a Bitch

Girl #1: Af­ter he pro­posed, I thought to my­self, “why could­n’t he have done this a few days be­fore, so I could show off my ring at the fu­ner­al?“
Girl #2: I know, that’s such a shame!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware

Over­heard by: It was­n’t even THAT pret­ty of a ring!

She Wears Steel-Toed Boots.

Teen #1: I could fuck your sis­ter.
Teen #2: Yeah? Well, I could fuck a horse.
Teen #1: No you could­n’t.
Teen #2: Why not?
Teen #1: You can’t just sneak up on a horse and fuck it in the ass.
Teen #2: I would­n’t sneak up on it, I’d let it know I was there.
Teen #1: You’ll get kicked in the face. And you’ll die.
Teen #2, qui­et­ly: What­ev­er, dude… Just don’t fuck my sis­ter!

New York City, New York