You’d Know Why If You’d Ever Dipped One in the Toi­let

Tip­sy guy to girl be­side him: What are you do­ing lat­er?
Girl: Go­ing home to Scotch­gard my bathrobe.

Duke & Duchess Bar
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Coop­er Street Rel­ic

One Of the Rea­sons We Came to Thai­land.

Girl #1, look­ing at pic­ture: Oh my gosh! Look, the first aider is to­tal­ly judg­ing her. If I was passed out from crack, I would so not wan­na be judged.
Girl #2: Oh, I know, to­tal­ly!

Thai­land

And Chris­tian­i­ty Is the S&M Re­li­gion

Guy #1: Dude, like my whole body hurts.
Guy #2: Well, I told you not to hang out with those girls.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I haven’t dat­ed a re­li­gion ma­jor in a long time.

Har­vard Uni­ver­si­ty
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: dave

Some­one’s Al­ways in the Kitchen With Di­nah

TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who’s preg­nant?” again.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Flori­da

Over­heard by: nick

Just Obey­ing That Big “P” Sign Over There

Guy #1: You smell like urine.
Guy #2: Good!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/350891655/im-halfway-to-my-goal.html

Over­heard by: time for a show­er?

But Enough About Me– What Are Your In­ter­ests?

Girl: I re­al­ly like play­ing with grass…also, I think I’m go­ing to crazy one day.

John May­er Con­cert
Holmdel, New Jer­sey

The 1990’s Called…

Phi­los­o­phy pro­fes­sor, prov­ing his ar­gu­ment: There­fore, if I don’t get a lit­tle crazy, then I’m nev­er gonna sur­vive.

Michi­gan State Uni­ver­si­ty
Michi­gan

Over­heard by: sjshock

What a Great Piece of Ash

(at the wood­carv­ing tent)
Pre­ten­tious old la­dy to oth­ers: Mike does amaz­ing things with his wood. (pause) I just *love* his wood.

Art & Wine Fes­ti­val
Cave Creeek, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: J‑Kap

As You Should Know All Too Well, Cun­trel­la

Teacher: Does any­one know how to spell that?
(si­lence)
Stu­dent: Looks like it’s time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be short­ened.

High School Class­room
Rhode Is­land

So That’s What the Pro­peller Beanie Is About

Row­dy child in shop­ping cart: Mom! What’s that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Row­dy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(row­dy child starts freak­ing out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Row­dy child: Nope…I just like at­ten­tion.

Sobey’s
Toron­to, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: aleX­is