Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Chikara
20-something hipster to friend: So…I’m officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!
Portland, Maine
Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain’s getting, it’s pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that’s like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they shouldn’t be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Dad, seeing his little girl spit in a soda bottle: This is disgusting, nobody will want to drink from it now.
Little girl: I know, that’s why I did it.
Dad: That’s not nice. Smart, but not nice.
Pumpkin Farm
Half Moon Bay, California
Guy #1: Yeah, me and that guy have had a total communication breakdown…like, he was talking to me about tin foil! I dunno.
Guy #2, after a pause: Yeah, we should get some lottery tickets.
Exeter
England
Girl to boyfriend: Why’d you go and tell all the guys on the fifth floor that I have some crazy fetish with lubricating foods?
Guy: I didn’t say anything!
Girl: Well, they were talking about the Nutella.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laura G.
Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Teenage ghetto boy: That’d be great, man, if everyone died … They’d be gone, and we could take all their cars!
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Claire
Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist