Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh… Do you think it’s because nobody cares?
Borders
Tucson, Arizona
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
The Long-Awaited Follow-up to “My Humps”
Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!
Kings Island, Ohio
Whereas My Beer Belly Is a Perfect Sphere
Male student to girlfriend: Your body is uneven!
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
And You Thought Picking Up Girls at Funerals Was Bad
Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I’m bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.
Yellow Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: entertained next to them
It’s Also the Default Setting in Missouri
Guy #1, walking into beer garden: What does “drunk in public” mean exactly?
Guy #2: I think it’s kind of self-explanatory.
Columbia, Missouri
By That Point, We Were Married with Three Kids.
Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!
University Campus
Austin, Texas
Potato, Potahto
Girl to pizza delivery guy: So that’s a meat feast, a ham and pineapple, a chicken supreme, and a Margherita for Amy because she’s a lesbian.
Amy: I’m a vegetarian!
Sheffield
England
An Unexpected Artifact Of Our Romantic Interlude
Girl #1: My uterus! Oh god, my uterus!
Girl #2: My god, the raptor is going into my uterus.
Dining Commons, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Spoiled overtanned blonde: Oh my god, my ex just texted me to go fucking die. How do you spell “psycho?”
Philadelphia, Pennsyvania
I Think Your Wife’s Getting Tired of Serving Me Tea
Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I’m not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.
London
England
