Archive for the ‘Delaware’ Category

A Can­dy-Ass?

Pro­fes­sor with Smar­ties taped to pants: Any­one wan­na take a guess at what my cos­tume is?
Girl in back: Fire­fight­er!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware

Every­one Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise

Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I for­got to ask him if he’s gay!
Girl #2: But you don’t even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I’ve lost my chance…I’ll won­der for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I’m old and gray, I’ll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I’ll try to ask him…and he’ll be al­ready on the bus, and I’ll nev­er know.
Girl #2: You’re kind of a freak.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware

If You Dou­ble-Clutch Me, I’ll Bite It Off

Girl on cell: Yes, that’s ex­act­ly how I want to die! You dri­ving us drunk down the high­way at a hun­dred miles per hour while I give you head and you use one hand to play with my tits and the oth­er to shift gears!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Over­heard by: Anne

Andie Mc­Dow­ell’s Char­ac­ter in Four Wed­dings and a Fu­ner­al Was Kind Of a Bitch

Girl #1: Af­ter he pro­posed, I thought to my­self, “why could­n’t he have done this a few days be­fore, so I could show off my ring at the fu­ner­al?“
Girl #2: I know, that’s such a shame!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware

Over­heard by: It was­n’t even THAT pret­ty of a ring!