Archive for the ‘Drinking & drunks’ Category

It’s $20 Ex­tra to See My Pe­ri­od­ic Ta­ble

Guy on cell: I’m drunk as fuck right now… Yeah, I went out af­ter my chem test, and they had strip­pers! Got a lap dance… She was ban­gin’. You wan­na know the best part, dude? I’m do­ing home­work, ha­ha!… Yeah, it’s due to­mor­row.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html

Over­heard by: zui

Are You Preg­nant?

Girl­friend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it’s not frozen be­cause al­co­hol has a high freez­ing point, but it’s been in there for months so it’s as “frozen” as it’s gonna get, well, not re­al­ly be­cause…
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sen­tence!

Saint Pe­ter’s Col­lege
New Jer­sey

Ooo, What About an In­tra­venous Drip Filled with Cos­mo?

Girl #1: I am so ex­cit­ed for the Sex and the City movie!
Girl #2: Me too! We should go out for drinks be­fore the movie. Not too many cuz then we will have to take pot­ty brakes dur­ing the movie and I don’t want to miss any­thing!
Girl #1: Oh, good call, maybe we should wear di­a­pers. I would to­tal­ly wear a di­a­per for this movie!
Girl #2: To­tal­ly!

Peo­ria, Illi­nois