Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category
We Prefer ‘Hoboes’– but Thanks for the Weed!
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.”
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Being Able to Pee in a Cup Is the Whole Test, Right?
Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test
Actually, Crutchy Was the Only Crippled Newsie
Girl on cell: Wait! (pause) So, it's a gang for crippled people?
Orlando, Florida
In Kansas, Recreational Eating Goes Extreme
Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…
If All of the Raindrops / Were Lemon Drops and Crack Rocks / Oh, What a World This Would Be
Homeless guy: I have a dream like Martin Luther King. I have a dream that someday it will… rain crack.
Atlanta, Georgia
We Will Now Test This Hypothesis Empirically
Student: Crack cocaine is the best thing since fried rice!
UC San Diego
San Diego, California
I Notice You Came Up with That Description Awfully Quickly
Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!
Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: bluecollarbelle
Eliot Spitzer’s next big target
Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, ’cause I can’t stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin’ some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It’s called caffeine.
9th & M Streets
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Erika
Like Schizophrenics and Psychotics Do
Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something… Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/there-is-infinite-possibility-in.html
Overheard by: the sinister minister