Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It’s official–I’m going to be ovulating on my wedding day.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Double V
Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category
They Make “Ladies’ Weight” Guns, You Know
Drunk bimbette: We’re s’posed to be so ladylike… Why do girls have to be so ghetto and stab each other all the time?
York University
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A and A
The Keebler Elves Say They Need the Yeast
Drunk girl to drunk friend: Unless you live in my vagina, you wouldn’t know!
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Random Bar Guy
I Swear On This Stack of Flannel Shirts
Drunk sorority girl: I swear, I’m not gay! I just crush a lot.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Later, They’d Vomit Up Quarters
Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
That Consists Mostly of Panting and Licking Strangers
Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine… is a more quiet desperation.
University of Idaho
Idaho
Overheard by: Funnygirl
Weren’t We Fencing?
30-something male drunk: You’re not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I’m not your mother. I’m just telling you that it’s not okay to grunt and lunge at people.
Pacifica, California
Overheard by: Slightly
Let Me Guess– Rainbow Sherbert?
Drunken girl: I don’t know, Luke, I’m just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don’t like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn’t experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don’t know, it just hasn’t happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don’t rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don’t like it? And say, “No, this isn’t for me”?
Drunken girl: Let’s go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.
Claremont, California
A New Grammar Book by Tyra Banks
Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: James
Guy: Mind! I Said I Wouldn’t Mind!
Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?
Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute
