Drunk girl #1, in bathroom: So I told her she just needed to remove her vagina, put on a cock and man up!
Drunk girl #2: Totally.
Bathroom, Rocket Bar
Washington, DC
Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category
It’s Always in the Last Place You Look
Drunk guy: If kiddie porn is such a huge problem on the internet, how come you can’t ever find it?
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Why Don’t You Have A Seat Over Here…
Acute Infection’s Not All That Cute
Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
In the Sense That It’s Propping Up My Coffee Table
DJ: And we’ll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That’s my movie! That’s my movie!
Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Then I’d Have to Sit Down and Rest
Fat drunk guy: Dude, I would totally kick a couple of chicks in the cunt!
Barley’s
Knoxville, Tennessee
You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?
Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I’m a fucking pervert.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
And the Dogs Are Not Interested!
Hot drunk chick: That’s why I can’t sleep at night — because people in Knoxville wanna fuck dogs!
Barley’s Taproom and Pizzeria
North Carolina
Overheard by: Drunk Patron
I’m Suing for Breach Of the Social Contract
Smelly drunk in silent library room: You don’t work for me? Man, no one knows that they work for me!
Public Library
Seattle, Washington
I Am So Through with Jesus
Haggard drunk woman to group of drunk men: He says he loves me but won’t even buy me a cupcake!
Boston, Massachusetts
Oooh, Lick Your Lips While You Say That!
Drunk girl #1: (blows kiss to construction worker)
Drunk girl #2: You *so* just made his day!
Construction worker: Slut.
Exhibition Street
Melbourne, Australia
