Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category
That Consists Mostly of Panting and Licking Strangers
Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine… is a more quiet desperation.
University of Idaho
Idaho
Overheard by: Funnygirl
Weren’t We Fencing?
30-something male drunk: You’re not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I’m not your mother. I’m just telling you that it’s not okay to grunt and lunge at people.
Pacifica, California
Overheard by: Slightly
Let Me Guess– Rainbow Sherbert?
Drunken girl: I don’t know, Luke, I’m just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don’t like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn’t experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don’t know, it just hasn’t happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don’t rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don’t like it? And say, “No, this isn’t for me”?
Drunken girl: Let’s go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.
Claremont, California
A New Grammar Book by Tyra Banks
Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: James
Guy: Mind! I Said I Wouldn’t Mind!
Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?
Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute
The Thin Line Between Martha Stewart and MTV Backup Dancers
Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”
Plano, Texas
I’d Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn’t Intervened
Drunk frat boy: I don’t care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html
Overheard by: hearing aid
You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?
Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I’m a fucking pervert.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?
Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There’s a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…
The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia
