Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category

But She Did­n’t Use Their Blood As Paint This Time!

Sober girl: Look, all I’m say­ing is, I would­n’t fuck­ing mess with her. She’s clin­i­cal­ly in­sane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she’s re­al­ly smart. There are those peo­ple, you know, that are so smart they’re like ac­tu­al­ly crazy… Re­al men­tal, and we just think they’re weird, but they’re not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do re­al­ize that she drew pic­tures of her friends de­cap­i­tat­ed, right?

New Zealand

Over­heard by: Were they talk­ing about the same per­son?

The Blowjob Bun­ny Makes Her Rounds

Drunk chick: Look, this is go­ing to take five sec­onds. I just want to say hi, suck him off, and then we can leave.

Over­heard by:

Let’s Keep Do­ing Shots Un­til It Does

Drunk girl: Oh my god, how can you be wear­ing a t‑shirt right now? It’s so cold out­side!
Bounc­er: I love the cold. In fact, I have the air con­di­tion­ing on in my apart­ment right now.
Drunk girl: Wow, so, what are you? Like, from Flori­da or some­thing?
Bounc­er: No… That does­n’t make any sense.

Wash­ing­ton Street
Brighton, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Pa­tron

Her Shirt Says “Je­sus Is My Home­boy”

Fat drunk guy: I re­al­ly like your shirt. It’s very in­tel­lec­tu­al.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I’m in col­lege, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that’ll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I’m 18. Well…I mean, I’m 23.

Shreve­port, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Elle