Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland
Archive for the ‘Education’ Category
And That’s When I Got the Idea, Your Honor
Teacher: Are you guys understanding this?
Class: [Stares blankly.]Teacher: It feels like I’m taking my clothes off.
Class: What?
Teacher: I meant that this is disturbing.
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Sentence Fragments Baaaad!
Professor: I want to please you… Not with goats, but with sentences.
Greek Class
UCLA, California
Overheard by: shepherd
In Other Words, It’s Like Being Molested
Happy teacher: Welcome to creative writing class. This class is like us taking a hot bath. Together. With candles.
Harpeth Hall School
Nashville, Tennessee
When Lifetime Television Becomes a How-To
Girl #1: I was watching tv last night, and this girl was prostituting herself to pay for med school…
Girl #2: That is such a good idea!
UC Berkeley, California
Same Way I Learned Massage Therapy
Dude #1: I’m a massage therapist and an electrician.
Dude #2: Oh yeah? Did you go to school to learn how to be an electrician?
Dude #1: Naw, I hooked up with this guy who had been doing it for four years and owned a five million dollar house. He just handed me a drill and told me to go for it.
Petaluma, California
Overheard by: lith
Is It Too Late to Change Our Minds?
Lecturer: If I’d given you gin instead of phonology, no doubt you’d all be sitting closer together.
Manchester University
UK
Overheard by: Ferdinand
And I Stopped Listening to Myself Years Ago
Student: Professor, can you repeat that question?
Professor: I can’t remember! I just make this shit up.
American University
Washington, DC
Guess Somebody Wants to Go to College
Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
All Teachers Want Is to Fit in
Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure… Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!
Nashville, Tennessee
