Archive for the ‘Employees’ Category

In­stead, I’ll Dis­cuss Your Pain With This Com­plete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas sta­tion at­ten­dant: She slept with the en­tire foot­ball team in high school.
Girl­friend: Maybe, but I still would­n’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Re­al­ly? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

Fowl Be­hav­ior?

Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww… What’s wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sor­ry?
Woman: Well, is some­thing miss­ing?
Meat guy: Um… No.
Woman: Well, what is this “grain fed” busi­ness??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it’s fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)

Gro­cery Store
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Matt C

…That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!

Crew mem­ber to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are noth­ing. I mean, yeah, they can have their fem­i­nine touch­es, but if you want re­al weird, you need An­gela.
Friend: An­gela? She sounds nice!
Crew mem­ber: She’s head of se­cu­ri­ty. She’s two me­ters tall, and you need to take a step back be­fore you can iden­ti­fy her as a woman.
Friend: Sure­ly she’s not that ug­ly?
Crew mem­ber: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz fes­ti­val
Bel­gium

No­body Can Do Sex­u­al Ha­rass­ment Like the In­sane

Crazy bag la­dy, loud­ly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to an­oth­er pas­sen­ger on the sub­way)
Crazy bag la­dy, now in pas­sen­ger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(fe­male pas­sen­ger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you jump­ing? Why you jump­ing, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(sub­way train stops)
Con­duc­tor: City Hall sta­tion!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, sir, there’s a crazy la­dy on the sub­way ha­rass­ing the oth­er pas­sen­gers.
Con­duc­tor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(fe­male pas­sen­ger points to crazy woman yelling)
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, are you both­er­ing peo­ple?
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you tryin’ to fuck me stand­ing up!? Why don’t you fuck me ly­ing down like a gen­tle­man!
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, I’m call­ing the po­lice.

Broad Street Line Sub­way
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia