Archive for the ‘Employees’ Category

The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1–900 Numbers

Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can’t transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn’t matter. I don’t have any friends.

Austin, Texas

I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt…

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that’s any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.

Colosseum
Rome
Italy