Archive for the ‘Employees’ Category

Chives Are the Respectable Republican Cloth Coat of Herbs

Customer: I’ll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don’t have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.

Bangor, Maine

Overheard by: just wanted a coffee

.…If There Any Left

College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.

Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Arthur

Instead, I’ll Discuss Your Pain With This Complete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia

Fowl Behavior?

Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww… What’s wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sorry?
Woman: Well, is something missing?
Meat guy: Um… No.
Woman: Well, what is this “grain fed” business??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it’s fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)

Grocery Store
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Matt C

…That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!

Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She’s head of security. She’s two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she’s not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz festival
Belgium