Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!
King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England
Overheard by: Andrea
Superior girl: You’re just stumped by the Father-Christmas-isn’t-a-cat argument.
Norwich
England
Overheard by: Inigo Montoya
College girl: Cookies and beer — that’s all I need in life.
Heathrow Airport
London
England
Overheard by: Spencer
Four-year-old girl on push scooter, to mum: The steering is counter-intuitive!
Oxfordshire
England
Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.
Bus Stop
England
Old lady #1: I’ve never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she’s a shit now.
West Midlands
England
Very short gay man: It’s so hard being a vegetarian. My parents can’t accept my sexuality or my religion… I’m living in a toilet!
Guernsey
England
Overheard by: Catie
Guy: You never know, perhaps he’ll like it.
Girl, happily: I taste… Horrendous!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Tim
College girl #1: You know that Make-a-Wish Foundation? I wonder what I would wish for if I was given the chance.
College girl #2: My wish would be for someone to make a cake in the shape of my body… with my face on it… And that the Spice Girls would come and help me eat it.
College girl #1: Oooh, that’s a good wish.
London
England
Peasant husband in bookshop, holding up book: Hey, look at this!
Peasant wife: That’s the problem with books, they make you do things.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
