Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!
King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England
Overheard by: Andrea
Archive for the ‘England’ Category
ROTFLMFAOAWMP
Middle-aged woman: What the fuck is ‘W-T-F’?
Exmouth, Devon
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Bernard
There’s a Drag Ball at Grandpa’s Nursing Home Tonight
Girl to friend: So, how many skirts do you know that are made for the figure of a man?
Priestley College
Warrington
England
Overheard by: RuncornianAsh
That's Just Crazy Enough to Work!
Drunk guy: Yeah, well, you could spunk on her face, then lick your jizz off her dreadlocks.
Pub
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
The Wolf Was No Match for Grandma
Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She's married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.
Train
Manchester
England
I Can Only Answer Questions Like “Tubey or Not Tubey?”
Young girl: So what do you think I should do?
Girlfriend: I spent most of last night eating cheese out of a tube. I really don't think I'm the best person to ask for advice about your love life.
London
England
Overheard by: LondonCoffee
Guess Which One Grew Up with Maids
Girl #1: So, yeah, I was just going to set the hoover to suck, and use that.
Girl #2: Do hoovers suck?
Oxford
England
Glory Be to God for Dappled Things
Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…
London
England
Overheard by: gin
Potato, Potahto
Girl to pizza delivery guy: So that's a meat feast, a ham and pineapple, a chicken supreme, and a Margherita for Amy because she's a lesbian.
Amy: I'm a vegetarian!
Sheffield
England
You Won't Feel a Thing, I Promise
Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you're basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can't guarantee that I won't get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep