Archive for the ‘England’ Category

I Don’t Bi That for a Minute

Girl to another, leaving bus: But you can’t make everybody be gay!

London
England

But I Still Have That Restraining Order Against the Koosh Kins

Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.

Brighton
England

Overheard by: Randy

Tonight on How I Met Your Motherfucker

Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw ’em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I’ll do it!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

British Cooking: Explained

Boy eating lunch: I am without sin! That’s why potatoes come down my chimney!

Dagenham
Essex
England

Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Competition for Upper Class Twit Of the Year Heats Up

Skinny ginger guy: Oh, don’t over-egg the omelet!
Gorgeous girl: Uh… Omelets are mainly made of egg…?
Skinny ginger guy: Just because you wear glasses and go to university you think you’re so smart. Well you’re not. Because you’re a girl! Nerrrrrrrrr!

Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Concerned_citizen

…When They Ask Why We Can’t Have Lunch with Them?

Girl: So we’re telling them genital warts, then?

Devon
England

That’s What He Calls His Penis.

Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.

Bar
London
England

Overheard by: Dirty PJ

And Look at David Hasselhoff.

Cute redhead: I don’t think I could air my laundry in an art show. It seems terribly narcissistic.
Short male companion: A little narcissism never hurt anybody!
Cute redhead: Um, it hurt Narcissus.

London
England