Guy #1: Yeah, me and that guy have had a total communication breakdown…like, he was talking to me about tin foil! I dunno.
Guy #2, after a pause: Yeah, we should get some lottery tickets.
Exeter
England
Archive for the ‘England’ Category
Glory Be to God for Dappled Things
Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…
London
England
Overheard by: gin
…With the Red Carpet
Teenage girl on cell: I’m not saying that I want to be famous, I know not everyone can be famous, I’m just saying that’s the one thing I’ve always, like, aspired to, just a beautiful connection.
Huddersfield
England
And I’m Lactose Intolerant.
Teenage girl on cell: I don’t get on with him at all…we’re just like bread and butter.
London
England
Overheard by: Steve Elliott
Acute Infection’s Not All That Cute
Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
So Another Good Thing Is, I’m Resourceful
Friend #1: We should all say something about ourselves. One thing good and one thing bad.
Friend #2: What about you?
Friend #1: Well, I have a good sense of humor. And I guess something bad would be that the other day, I slept with some person because I didn’t have a place to stay, but in the morning, I’d forgotten his name…so when he went out his room I had to search through it to find some kind of identity card of his so I could pretend I knew it all along. His name was Richard.
Pub
London Bridge
England
Before Then, It Was Only Divided Into People Who Make Erroneous Blanket Statements and People Who Do Not
Film studies professor: Until the 1970s, no one realized that the world was divided into men and women.
Birmingham University
England
Um, Sweetie, We’re Lesbians
Girl #1: I’ve been feeling so weird lately.
Girl #2: You’re probably pregnant.
Girl #1: … What?
Girl #2: I was kidding.
Girl #1: Oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck — when was my last period?!
Piccadilly Line
London
England
Overheard by: BoogyFantastic
A Man with a Giant Rack
Little boy, about American tourist chick: Look, Daddy! She’s got big boots on… Like a man!
England
A Gentleman Doesn’t Make You Bleed ’til the Third Date
Stoned girl at party: I don’t think I’m gonna call him back, he was fingering me in pretty rapey way.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
