Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category

So Many Watershed Moments Happen at Banana Republic

(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it’s a tad too short for work. I’m only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It’s not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I’m ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/who-wears-short-shorts.html

Overheard by: Ian

My Technique’s Right Out Of The Shaolin Cookbook

Girl on bus: So, I’m like: “Bitch, you can’t question my big fork usage!”

99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

The Gospel Rap Song That’s Sweeping the Charts

(group bows heads and man begins to pray)
Girl (just realizing prayer has started): Oh! Holy shit! We’re praying?!

Shawnee Mission Park
Shawnee, Kansas

And Button Up Your Pants, Sweetie

Little girl: I love you, pole.
[She kisses the pole.]
Father: Don’t kiss the pole! Keep it rated G!

Outside a Dim Sum Shop
Alameda, California

Those Poopyheads Have Already Exhausted Their Five Minutes of Fame

College girl: There, I’ve belittled and insulted The View without using the word “bitch” or the c‑word.

Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: …and that itself is a feat

Why Will’s Parents Sent Him to His Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air

Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know…
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That’s what we do all day, every day.

Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: andromeda

…Period.

Girl to friend: All you have to do is say something about menstruation and every man within earshot becomes uncomfortable.

Michigan State University

So I Just Raised One Eybrow and Smiled at Her

Guy on cell: And I wanted to say, essentially, “Bitch, my office manages eight billion a year, so shut the fuck up”–but in the refined and enlightened way one would say such a thing in the country club dining room.

Santa Rosa, California

Overheard by: Rose Fox

That Doesn’t Involve My Grandma

Loud girl: Listen to me! I saw that hairy vagina! It was right in front of my face!
Loud guy: Can we please engage in a different conversation?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

…Animal Cracker Coming Up

Kid: (burps loudly)
Mom: What was that?
Kid: I think it was a lion.

Little Leage Game
Ft. Worth, Texas

Overheard by: DeeDon

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