(at the woodcarving tent)
Pretentious old lady to others: Mike does amazing things with his wood. (pause) I just *love* his wood.
Art & Wine Festival
Cave Creeek, Arizona
Overheard by: J‑Kap
Archive for the ‘Euphemisms’ Category
Is That by Herbal Essences?
Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove
And the Lake’s Still Frozen
Chick: The peeing politician doesn’t float my boat.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
A+
Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania
I Think I Just Nutted a Little
20-something to gay friend: I got stuffed more than a Turducken last night!
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
But It Was a Planned Incarceration
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
Montreal’s Porn Industry Has All the Latest Technology
Girl: Oh, hold on, I have to ejaculate my disk.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
He’s Been Disgruntled Ever Since Discovering I’m a Bottom.
Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
If You Have a Very Liberal Definition of “Okay”
Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said ‘No’ so it’s okay.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Justin
Good Luck Filling My Cup, Sir
Male customer: Since you’re new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn’t so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I’ll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?
Roswell, Georgia
