Girl to friend: I gave my ostrich a fur coat.
Rich Catholic Girls School
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Archive for the ‘Euphemisms’ Category
It’s Been There Since the Eighties
Woman to friend: He didn’t know what to do with his chicken, so he stuffed it in his pants.
Stanley Park
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: shiz
And the Lake’s Still Frozen
Chick: The peeing politician doesn’t float my boat.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Good Luck Filling My Cup, Sir
Male customer: Since you’re new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn’t so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I’ll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?
Roswell, Georgia
On the Other Hand, Mocking You Is Both.
College girl #1: It was fun because it was easy.
College girl #2: Emily*, not all easy things are fun…like, I hear you’re not that fun.
Borders
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
What a Great Piece of Ash
(at the woodcarving tent)
Pretentious old lady to others: Mike does amazing things with his wood. (pause) I just *love* his wood.
Art & Wine Festival
Cave Creeek, Arizona
Overheard by: J‑Kap
Is That by Herbal Essences?
Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove
A+
Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania
I Think I Just Nutted a Little
20-something to gay friend: I got stuffed more than a Turducken last night!
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
But It Was a Planned Incarceration
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
