Chick: The peeing politician doesn't float my boat.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Archive for the ‘Euphemisms’ Category
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Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania
I Think I Just Nutted a Little
20-something to gay friend: I got stuffed more than a Turducken last night!
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
But It Was a Planned Incarceration
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
Montreal's Porn Industry Has All the Latest Technology
Girl: Oh, hold on, I have to ejaculate my disk.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
He’s Been Disgruntled Ever Since Discovering I’m a Bottom.
Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
If You Have a Very Liberal Definition of “Okay”
Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said ‘No’ so it’s okay.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Justin
Good Luck Filling My Cup, Sir
Male customer: Since you're new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn't so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I'll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?
Roswell, Georgia
I Know It's Badminton, but It Feels So Goodminton
Physical education teacher, demonstrating the overhead smash in badminton: So I'm gonna find myself in a bad position and Sean is just gonna unload on me.
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
And Your Left Water Wing Just Fell Out
Woman to man carrying giant innertube: You have to return that to the tube hut. Ha! You have a tube hut in your pants!
Man: I don’t even know what that means.
Swimming Pool
Gardner, Kansas