Archive for the ‘Europe’ Category

Be­fore Har­ry Hole Joined the Po­lice Force

Sheep­ish-look­ing PhD stu­dent com­ing out of wash­room: Oh yes! I was­n’t tak­ing a show­er with a glass of chardon­nay! By “was­n’t” I mean “was”, by “tak­ing a show­er” I mean “tak­ing a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bot­tle”. (long pause, look­ing down the hall) I was tak­ing a dump with a bot­tle of chardon­nay!

Uni­ver­si­ty of North­ern Nor­way


20-some­thing Amer­i­can girl, loud­ly and ex­cit­ed­ly, point­ing at stat­ue: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! There’s a stat­ue of Je­sus! They’ve got a stat­ue of Je­sus Christ! Ohmigod!
Unim­pressed 20-some­thing Greek girl: That’s a stat­ue of Zeus. (slight pause) You fuck­ing re­tard.

Na­tion­al Ar­chae­o­log­i­cal Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: Bleep

…Hence­forth You Shall Be Dubbed “Bor­ing Bet­ty”

Pro­fes­sor, to new­bie class: So…let’s start with every­one telling me a se­cret about them­selves so I can try and re­mem­ber your names. You (point­ing to stu­dent) start.
Stu­dent, ten­ta­tive­ly: Ummm…I eat cold spaghet­ti in the morn­ing?
Pro­fes­sor: Ewww! Fan­tas­tic.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Zurich

Over­heard by: Stephanie

Was Col­lege Ever About Learn­ing?

Lec­tur­er, about ex­am ques­tions: I mis­lead you on pur­pose. I have to get some sense of per­verse plea­sure out of de­sign­ing these ques­tions. I sit at home go­ing “aa­ha­ha­ha­ha­haa!” (rubs hands glee­ful­ly)

Irish Cul­ture Lec­ture
Uni­ver­si­ty of Zurich