Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Un­less You Know Some­thing About Louis Pas­teur That I Don’t

Mid­dle-aged woman, on sex of­fend­ers: Those peo­ple should just be pas­teur­ized.
Teen daugh­ter: Pas­teur­ized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pas­teur­ized.
Daugh­ter: No, mom. I don’t think that’s what you mean.

Over­heard by: that might be just as ef­fec­tive

See Those Guys Out­side Erect­ing a Mon­u­ment to My Not-Car­ing?

30-some­thing woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-some­thing woman, to broth­er across room: Do you want an 8x10?
Broth­er: Don’t care.
30-some­thing woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to broth­er) Do you want a 5x7?
Broth­er: It’s in­cred­i­ble how much I don’t care.

Pho­to Stu­dio
Ger­man­town, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Daniel

I’m Not Even Gonna Ask About Your Leash Col­lec­tion

Grand­moth­er: So my friend gave me dog bis­cuits for my birth­day.
Teen girl: But you don’t have a dog.
Grand­moth­er: She knew I would ap­pre­ci­ate them, dear.
Teen girl: And it is­n’t your birth­day.
Grand­moth­er: That does­n’t mat­ter. I was go­ing to save them for the Box­er that young man brings around the home, but I got hun­gry around noon.
Teen girl: Oh no. You did­n’t.
Grand­moth­er: What? It’s not as if I ate them plain. I boiled a cup of cof­fee and dipped them.

Fram­ming­ham, Mass­a­chu­setts