Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It’s wet.
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: I need to get whatever they’re using.
Archive for the ‘Family’ Category
Unless You Know Something About Louis Pasteur That I Don’t
Middle-aged woman, on sex offenders: Those people should just be pasteurized.
Teen daughter: Pasteurized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pasteurized.
Daughter: No, mom. I don’t think that’s what you mean.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/430097826/it-might-work.html
Overheard by: that might be just as effective
Can I Get a High Five? Anybody? Anybody?
Man with sons and wife: We made good time. Only took an hour.
Wife, getting angry: Would you stop letting people know how ignorant you really are?
Man: So what? We did the Louvre in 45 minutes.
Reina Sofia Museum
Madrid
Spain
Overheard by: amy abes
See Those Guys Outside Erecting a Monument to My Not-Caring?
30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8x10?
Brother: Don’t care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5x7?
Brother: It’s incredible how much I don’t care.
Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland
Overheard by: Daniel
Hey, If the Hippos in Fantasia Can Do It…
Aunt: Well yeah, we dance with the turkey before we put it in the oven.
Girl: What?!
Aunt: Well you know, to give it one last dance.
Girl: One last dance?! As if it danced before!
St.Louis, Missouri
Someone’s Been Reading People at the Dentist’s Office
Mom: Did you hear that Harry Lee died?
20-something daughter: Yea, and Sylvester Stallone came to the funeral, I thought that was odd.
Previously uninterested dad: Interesting fact about Sylvester Stallone- he has a penial implant.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
I’m Not Even Gonna Ask About Your Leash Collection
Grandmother: So my friend gave me dog biscuits for my birthday.
Teen girl: But you don’t have a dog.
Grandmother: She knew I would appreciate them, dear.
Teen girl: And it isn’t your birthday.
Grandmother: That doesn’t matter. I was going to save them for the Boxer that young man brings around the home, but I got hungry around noon.
Teen girl: Oh no. You didn’t.
Grandmother: What? It’s not as if I ate them plain. I boiled a cup of coffee and dipped them.
Frammingham, Massachusetts
Did He Ever Think That Some Of Us Wanted to Be Left Behind?
Five-year-old little boy to grandmother: If I ever meet George Bush, I’m going to kick him in the balls.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168161/better-wait-a-few-years-or-youll-just-get-his-kneecaps.html
Overheard by: trying not to laugh parent
For the Same Reason We Don’t Care Who Warthogs Mate With
Daughter: You know, they should put up a warning sign at that camp. “Warning: do not hook up with each other, you are probably second cousins. You will have mutant babies.“
Mother: But they’re already mutants, so it’s okay.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Christianne
Mickey Doesn’t Care, Sweetie
Girl to family: Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Kid next to girl: But I’m Jewish!
Magic Kingdom
Orlando, Florida
