Archive for the ‘Family ties’ Category

Or, As Much So As Dan­ny De­Vi­to and Arnold Schwarzeneg­ger

Guy: My sis­ter and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what hap­pened was I am two years old­er than my sis­ter. [Every­one stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sis­ter are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m get­ting con­fused with an­oth­er fam­i­ly sto­ry. I am two years old­er than my sis­ter, but I’m pret­ty sure we’re not twins, ei­ther.

900 West Val­ley Road
Wayne, Penn­syl­va­nia

No! Haven’t You Been Lis­ten­ing?

La­dy 1: So they’re get­ting mar­ried now.
La­dy 2: But I thought she had a ba­by.
La­dy 1: Yes, but it’s his broth­er’s. See, her sis­ter want­ed to be with him so she told him her sis­ter could­n’t have nor­mal chil­dren. It turns out she’s the one who can’t have chil­dren.
La­dy 2: Oh… so they’re get­ting mar­ried?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Over­heard by: Con­fused lis­ten­er