Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Archive for the ‘Family ties’ Category
Should’ve Realized He Wasn’t “Chosen” When He Never Got Picked for T‑Ball
Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren’t Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren’t we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill’s her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren’t related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
More Of a Sugar Grandpa
Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I’m not a sugar-daddy, am I?
Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California
Weren’t We Fencing?
30-something male drunk: You’re not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I’m not your mother. I’m just telling you that it’s not okay to grunt and lunge at people.
Pacifica, California
Overheard by: Slightly
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
I’m Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Dads Often Regret Not Eating Their Young
Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one’s the dad, because he looks angry.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/318435466/that-method-is-84-accurate.html
Overheard by: rsp
…According to Perez.
Small child to father: You’re a sad puppy that burps. You’re a stinky puppy that’s sad… and burps.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/daddys-little-girl.html
Overheard by: elizabeth
If One of Our Editors Doesn’t Beat You to It
Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!
Gas Station
Waco, Texas
The Wolf Was No Match for Grandma
Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She’s married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.
Train
Manchester
England
