Soccer mom: I can’t believe I was able to convince my husband that I was gay.
Museum of Fine Arts
Boston, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Family ties’ Category
…Which I Use for My Other Job
(on a bus passing city jail)
Mom: Look kids… that’s where daddy is.
(pause)
Mom: I can give you a haircut.
Man: I like the lady who does my hair, she has good mirrors so I can see the back of my head.
Mom: I’ve got good mirrors. I’ve got mirrors on the ceiling, too.
Bus
Omaha, Nebraska
When Summer’s Eve Merged with The Learning Channel
Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we’re, like, related to monkeys?
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Should’ve Realized He Wasn’t “Chosen” When He Never Got Picked for T‑Ball
Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren’t Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren’t we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill’s her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren’t related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
More Of a Sugar Grandpa
Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I’m not a sugar-daddy, am I?
Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California
Weren’t We Fencing?
30-something male drunk: You’re not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I’m not your mother. I’m just telling you that it’s not okay to grunt and lunge at people.
Pacifica, California
Overheard by: Slightly
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
I’m Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Dads Often Regret Not Eating Their Young
Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one’s the dad, because he looks angry.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/318435466/that-method-is-84-accurate.html
Overheard by: rsp
