Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Archive for the ‘Family ties’ Category
No! Haven’t You Been Listening?
Lady 1: So they’re getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it’s his brother’s. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn’t have normal children. It turns out she’s the one who can’t have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they’re getting married?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused listener
For the Last Time, That Was CPR
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight — I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don’t you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Are You Still Upset About My Sandals With Black Socks?
Dad: That’s an awfully big brownie. You know it’s so big it’s a Girl Scout.
Daughter: Silence.
Dad: Hey, this is funny stuff from your dad.
(daughter stares at him in silence)
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Tim
I’d Still Take It Down If Either Of You Ever Wants a Job
Girl #1 on Facebook: And then I gave my mom a lap dance.
Girl #2, looking at pictures: It looks like she was enjoying it.
UMass
Dartmouth, Massachusetts
A Conclusion Every Young Woman Must Reach at Some Point in Her Life
Chick: I have found that half-cousin incest is hot, but only on soaps.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
And This.…Surprises You?
Woman waiting for coffee: You know my sister is a Playboy model?
Friend: (blank stare)
Woman waiting for coffee: Yeah! She sends me the pictures. I mean, she’s beautiful, but I don’t wanna see that. And my brother, he looks at those!
Friend: (blank stare)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563420/all-in-the-family.html
Overheard by: next in line.
But I Don’t Know Why the Caged Bird Sings!
Mother pushing stroller with three small boys at her side: Your brother asked you a question. Now answer it or stop talking!
Valley Fair
Shakopee, Minnesota
And She Makes an Excellent Paperweight
20-something blonde: It’s just…she can’t talk, all she does is scream and cry. She’s not even a real person yet. I just don’t understand how you can love her so much!
Redhead, lovingly cradling baby: Shit, hon, you have to stop saying things like that. She’s your daughter!
Café Nero
London
England
Overheard by: Nit
…Just by Slipping That Home Depot Catalog under Our Mattress
Soccer mom: I can’t believe I was able to convince my husband that I was gay.
Museum of Fine Arts
Boston, Massachusetts
