They Could­n’t

Frat boy: We are Ivy League ed­u­cat­ed men — we can fig­ure out how to turn a bed sheet in­to a to­ga.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Over­heard by: maria

Yeah the Zo­di­ac Gov­erns Best That Gov­erns Least

Guy: That’s a cool neck­lace. What is it?
Girl: Oh, it’s La­dy Lib­er­ty. I’m a lib­er­tar­i­an.
Guy: Oh cool. I’m a Vir­go.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/05/im-fiscal-sagittarius-but-lean.html

Over­heard by: stu­dent

That’s the Foun­tain on the Right

Loud guy in restau­rant: So, we were out shop­ping and there were all these women in burkas tak­ing pic­tures of each oth­er. How fuck­ing point­less is that? It’s not like they’re go­ing to look back af­ter­wards and go, ‘Oh, look, there’s Doris by the foun­tain!’

Eng­land

And I’m Al­ready Tired of It

Hy­per girl pulling out lots of dif­fer­ent col­ored bracelets: I need to change my mood!
Friend: What’s your mood, Dana?
Hy­per girl: I don’t know! I’m chang­ing it!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/typical_female.html

Over­heard by:

The Queen Ami­dala Head­dress Is Re­al­ly Heavy

Cos­tumed dad to lit­tle girl: You need to lis­ten. Un­der­stand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th An­niver­sary Cel­e­bra­tion
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Which Was “No Up­per-Body Strength”

Fe­male stu­dent #1: Eeew, she has a rolling back­pack, you know what that means…
Fe­male stu­dent #2: Whore?
Fe­male stu­dent #1: Ab­solute­ly not what I was go­ing to say.

San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Ever Seen a Cooch Do Three Snaps in Z‑Formation?

Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagi­na, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagi­na?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!

Mel­bourne, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Livi

So I Poured a Cos­mo Down His Pants.

Ex­cit­ed la­dy, telling sto­ry to group of peo­ple: And then he turned the tap on right in­to my purse!

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

The Cum-stained Pants Were Al­so a Tip-Off

Pro­fes­sor to an­oth­er: I saw you walk in with your purse, mes­sen­ger bag, and back­pack. You’ve been hav­ing sex again?

USC School of So­cial Work
Cal­i­for­nia

All You Ladies Need to Do Is Dab Some Beer be­hind Your Ears and You’re Set

Psy­chol­o­gy pro­fes­sor: What will your Pra­da bag get you? It does­n’t get you sex. All the men aren’t go­ing to be like, ‘Oooh, Pra­da bag!’

North­west­ern Uni­ver­si­ty
Evanston, Illi­nois