The Queen Ami­dala Head­dress Is Re­al­ly Heavy

Cos­tumed dad to lit­tle girl: You need to lis­ten. Un­der­stand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th An­niver­sary Cel­e­bra­tion
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Which Was “No Up­per-Body Strength”

Fe­male stu­dent #1: Eeew, she has a rolling back­pack, you know what that means…
Fe­male stu­dent #2: Whore?
Fe­male stu­dent #1: Ab­solute­ly not what I was go­ing to say.

San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Ever Seen a Cooch Do Three Snaps in Z‑Formation?

Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagi­na, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagi­na?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!

Mel­bourne, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Livi

That’s the Foun­tain on the Right

Loud guy in restau­rant: So, we were out shop­ping and there were all these women in burkas tak­ing pic­tures of each oth­er. How fuck­ing point­less is that? It’s not like they’re go­ing to look back af­ter­wards and go, ‘Oh, look, there’s Doris by the foun­tain!’

Eng­land

So I Poured a Cos­mo Down His Pants.

Ex­cit­ed la­dy, telling sto­ry to group of peo­ple: And then he turned the tap on right in­to my purse!

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

The Cum-stained Pants Were Al­so a Tip-Off

Pro­fes­sor to an­oth­er: I saw you walk in with your purse, mes­sen­ger bag, and back­pack. You’ve been hav­ing sex again?

USC School of So­cial Work
Cal­i­for­nia

All You Ladies Need to Do Is Dab Some Beer be­hind Your Ears and You’re Set

Psy­chol­o­gy pro­fes­sor: What will your Pra­da bag get you? It does­n’t get you sex. All the men aren’t go­ing to be like, ‘Oooh, Pra­da bag!’

North­west­ern Uni­ver­si­ty
Evanston, Illi­nois

Dad Won’t Let Me

Girl #1: Oh, hey! I’m wear­ing a pur­ple bra to­day!
Girl #2: Why is that a sur­prise? Don’t you dress your­self?

Fit­ting Rooms
Mor­well Shop­ping Cen­tre
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Ann

I Have Them Washed and Brought to My Tent

Girl, jok­ing: I love when girls are walk­ing around drunk with eye make­up smeared around their faces.
Guy: Yeah, those are the ones I try to take home.
Girl: What?
Guy: Do you re­al­ly think I go around look­ing for girls with good per­son­al­i­ties?

Iowa City, Iowa

From the Broke­back Moun­tain Out­takes

Guy: Stop ac­ces­soriz­ing the tent! You’re such a girl!

Old Cedar Camp­grounds
Mon­roeville, New Jer­sey