Archive for the ‘Fat people’ Category

An In­sti­tu­tion Worth Pro­tect­ing

Obese mid­dle-aged tourist to hus­band: I called him and told him we’re at pas­sen­ger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we’d be, and I said pas­sen­ger pick-up 2, that’s where he can find us. It’s just eas­i­er to find us when he gets here. Pas­sen­ger pick-up 2. And it’s cold. That’s why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I’m go­ing to but­ton it up. Did you hear me? I’m go­ing to but­ton it up. There, it’s but­toned. (hus­band ig­nores her)

Newark Air­port, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: EthanK

But It Was a Planned In­car­cer­a­tion

Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t be­lieve we are not hang­ing out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re sup­posed to be hang­ing out with me. We nev­er hang out any­more and we are boyfriend and girl­friend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were sup­posed to hang out this past Sat­ur­day and Sun­day but we did­n’t! You were not fuck­ing there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Mutha­fuck­er you were in jail!

Bus
Iowa State Uni­ver­si­ty, Iowa

Over­heard by: Casey

To Be Fair, at Least She Won’t Be a Cop.

Fat fe­male stu­dent: I’m thir­ty-eight years old with a crim­i­nal jus­tice de­gree, and I still can’t find noth­in’ to do in this val­ley. No­body’s hirin’, noth­in’.
Skin­ny fe­male stu­dent: Could­n’t you just be a cop?
Fat fe­male stu­dent: I can’t be a cop. They give me a badge an’ a gun, I’d be shootin’ at fags and wet­backs. I mean, in this day in age… Not to be rude or any­thing…

Book­store
West Vir­ginia Uni­ver­si­ty