Archive for the ‘Fears’ Category

I Promise Not to Look at Joan Rivers from Now On

20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn’t thought about that.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Whoaaaaa.

Professor: I’m afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.

San Diego, California

Diversity Provides a Wide Variety of Scary

Chick: It wasn’t, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn’t feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Why Casper the Friendly Ghost Has Difficulty Keeping a Girlfriend

Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.

Canberra
Australia

Overheard by: Boffins

Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado

Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.

Movie Theater
Colorado

From The Mouths of Babes…

Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That’s Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn’t he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It’s a complicated story and we’ll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.

Mission Santa Barbara, California

It’s the Greatest Thing Since… You Know

Girlfriend: I think my butt has gotten bigger.
Boyfriend: If that’s true, hallelujah. I love big booties.
Girlfriend: David*, this is serious! I think I have been doing so many squats that my butt has lifted and risen… like bread.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: MoMo