Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
Archive for the ‘Fears’ Category
I’m Sorry I Ever Chose to Study The Necronomicon
Guy going to study for finals: I’m kinda scared to sit in a cubicle alone… by myself… Alone with my thoughts. Not good.
PCL Library
University of Texas at Austin
And I’d Lose the Best Piano Teacher I’ve Ever Had
Guy #1: I woke up in her bed without any pants.
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: I think we had sex.
Guy #2: You don’t know?
Guy #1: I cant exactly remember. Luckily neither can she. She’d kill me if she knew.
Train
Sydney, Australia
And You Stole Me from a Playground!
Little boy, standing next to a car: Daddy, this isn’t our car! Daddy, what are you doing? This isn’t our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you’ve got to stop saying that when we’re in parking lots. [to a couple walking by] I just got a new car.
Little boy: No you didn’t!
AMC Theatres
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: they steal cars, dont they?
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful
Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He’s non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
An Unexpected Artifact Of Our Romantic Interlude
Girl #1: My uterus! Oh god, my uterus!
Girl #2: My god, the raptor is going into my uterus.
Dining Commons, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
I Promise Not to Look at Joan Rivers from Now On
20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn’t thought about that.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Whoaaaaa.
Professor: I’m afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.
San Diego, California
Diversity Provides a Wide Variety of Scary
Chick: It wasn’t, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn’t feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
