Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He’s non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Archive for the ‘Fears’ Category
An Unexpected Artifact Of Our Romantic Interlude
Girl #1: My uterus! Oh god, my uterus!
Girl #2: My god, the raptor is going into my uterus.
Dining Commons, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
I Promise Not to Look at Joan Rivers from Now On
20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn’t thought about that.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Whoaaaaa.
Professor: I’m afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.
San Diego, California
Diversity Provides a Wide Variety of Scary
Chick: It wasn’t, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn’t feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Why Casper the Friendly Ghost Has Difficulty Keeping a Girlfriend
Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Boffins
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
From The Mouths of Babes…
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That’s Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn’t he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It’s a complicated story and we’ll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
It’s the Greatest Thing Since… You Know
Girlfriend: I think my butt has gotten bigger.
Boyfriend: If that’s true, hallelujah. I love big booties.
Girlfriend: David*, this is serious! I think I have been doing so many squats that my butt has lifted and risen… like bread.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: MoMo
Was It a Big Bang?
Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!
Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi
