Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That’s Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn’t he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It’s a complicated story and we’ll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
Girl: Finally! I’m no longer a virgin anymore! And I did it with someone I love. I dunno if he loves me though.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/09/09/dont-worry-he-appreciated-it-too/
Overheard by: Ian
Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don’t need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
Girl on cell: It’s not that I don’t want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don’t want to get fucked up, you know? So I’m not really sure what to do.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/414278088/look-not-drinking-my-weight-in-tequila-is-not-an-option-ok.html
Overheard by: I have that dilemma often
Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It’s the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Old Man
Bogan girlfriend: You don’t loves me! You don’t loves me!
Bogan boyfriend: What do you mean I don’t loves you? I fucks you and buys you a pie!
Armidale
Australia
Girl #1: I’m so glad you could make it out tonight! How are you?
Girl #2: I’m okay. I have a headache from crying.
Steppenwolff Theater
Chicago, Illinois
Girl #1: My tampon just fell out when I ran across the street. Great…how’s it gonna be when I have a baby?
Girl #2: What? Tampons and babies go in the same place?
Girl #3: Yeah, the garbage disposal.
Girls #1 and #2: What?
Girl #3: I meant the dumpster.
Portland, Oregon
Blonde girl: I hate horror movies, because then I get scared that those things are going to happen, cause they really do happen.
Teacher: You can’t live your life like that! Those things are really rare! Like, I’ve been in all sorts of sketchy situations, and I’m still here.
Guy: You’re just too sheltered.
Teacher: Like, when I was in Rwanda, this guy was giving us a ride and he was like “do you want to stay overnight at my house?” and we were like “okay,” and I immediately regretted that one…
Toronto
Canadia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
