Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we’re, like, related to monkeys?
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category
Just When Race Relations Were Improving in Boston
White tourist: I’m really sorry — I don’t have any change. If I did, I’d give you some, but I don’t, so… sorry. Good luck with everything…
Black dude: Cracka, I’m ain’t homeless!
Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts
You Can Cry Afterwards and He Can’t Tell
Girl: It’s not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It’s that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.
Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
…Every Time I Smell Sewage.
Chick: Yeah, we really need to hang out with Julie soon. She told me yesterday: “I miss Andrea, she’s so gross!“
Andrea: Awww, I miss her too!
Seattle, Washington
…Since I Accepted Homer Simpson As My Personal Savior
Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!
Canberra
Australia
Should’ve Realized He Wasn’t “Chosen” When He Never Got Picked for T‑Ball
Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren’t Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren’t we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill’s her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren’t related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
Clearly, You Are No Donna Reed
Hipster guy: I cried so much when I watched it.
Hipster girl: It’s a Wonderful Life made you cry? Ha!
Hipster guy: Shhhh! (looks around furtively)
Wellington
New Zealand
When College Early Admission Goes Too Far
Psychology professor, discussing babies: If this thing didn’t smile, it would be in the trash.
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
…When They Could Be Doing Porn
Guy: I saw some midgets wrestling last night. I felt really bad. Why would they do that?
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, PA
Overheard by: ZB
Michael Jackson: At Least I’m Consistent!
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
