It’s Like Hav­ing a Prin­ci­ple, On­ly Eas­i­er

Gra­nola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awe­some! He, like, votes no on every­thing.

Bon­na­roo Fes­ti­val
Man­ches­ter, Ten­nessee

Let Us Nev­er Speak Of This Again.

Col­lege guy, watch­ing lit­tle girl in husky cheer­leader out­fit: What’s with all these cheer­lead­ers every­where? I like it!
Fe­male friend: Dude, that sound­ed kind of wrong, she’s like six.
Col­lege guy: Yeah… I just re­al­ized that.

UW Husky Tail­gate
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Face

Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshop­per Sto­ry

Lec­tur­er: Peo­ple who are hap­py, hope­ful, and re­laxed… are a pain in the ass.

Auck­land
New Zealand

But Enough About Me– What Are Your In­ter­ests?

Girl: I re­al­ly like play­ing with grass…also, I think I’m go­ing to crazy one day.

John May­er Con­cert
Holmdel, New Jer­sey

Pop Quiz: Who’s She Talk­ing To?

Woman: I’m glad all my friend­ships are on­line!

Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

So That’s What the Pro­peller Beanie Is About

Row­dy child in shop­ping cart: Mom! What’s that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Row­dy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(row­dy child starts freak­ing out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Row­dy child: Nope…I just like at­ten­tion.

Sobey’s
Toron­to, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: aleX­is

Jen­na Jame­son: “Sto­ry of My Life, Hon­ey”

20-some­thing girl: My ass hurts and my throat is sore. I al­so feel very un­der­whelmed.

San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Nat­u­ral­ly, It’s Huge

Young mom, look­ing dis­gust­ed at a pa­parazzi pho­to of Pamela An­der­son: That’s dis­gust­ing.
Four-year-old son: What?
Young mom: Hon­ey, what’s wrong with this pic­ture?
Four-year-old son: I can see her pe­nis.

Bowl­ing Al­ley
In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Aunt Obliv­i­ous

When I Fi­nal­ly Mas­tered Writ­ing My Name in Urine

13-year-old boy, jump­ing all over the place: It was a feel­ing of pure ure­thra!

Perth
West­ern Aus­tralia
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: he did­n’t re­al­ly think that one through

What Is It About Three Mea­sures of Cen­tral Ten­den­cy on a Clean Sheet?

Prof: I like to click on the de­scrip­tive sta­tis­tics check­box in or­der to plea­sure my­self!

Ball State Uni­ver­si­ty
Muncie, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Can’t be­lieve she said that