Anthropology teacher: All women are beautiful, whether they’re tall and skinny or not. Including female Sasquatch.
USF
Florida
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
Wasn’t That a Super Smash Brothers Character?
20-ish girl #1: Yeah, I was called ‘Sweet Pea’ all the time when I was little.
20-ish girl #2: To this day my dad calls me ‘Peanut.‘
Fat lady nearby, to no one: Yeah, I got a nickname, too. They call me ‘Jiggly Puff.’
TGIFridays
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
Overheard by: I can’t imagine why.
It’s So Hard to Find Cheap Storage in the City
Guy reading iPhone: IT sez here some gal in Fort Meyers was arrested and later found to have a knife hidden in her vagina.
Friend: I could go with that…
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Café con leche
Have You Learned So Little from The Sweetest Thing?
Teen girl in bathroom #1: I’d hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can’t poop in a urinal?
High School
Coral Springs, Florida
Our Guess Would Be Extremely Narrow Hips
Girl #1: It was the size of a Double‑A battery.
Girl #2: Best sex ever, right?
Girl #1, shamefully: I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
Miami, Florida
Especially With Their Eyes Shut
Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.
Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida
This Affair with the Other White Meat Has Gone on Long Enough
Man, pulling out salad on airplane: Now I can get back to what really matters. Chicken.
Flight over Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Nic
I’m Gonna Ride This Science Project All the Way to Harvard
Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: If you can wax a car…
But Not a Real Green Dress –That’s Cruel
Girl on phone: I’ll go on MySpace and look until I die for a picture of you in a ugly green dress!
Orlando Ale House
Orlando, Florida
Professional Jello Wrestling Has Its Pratfalls, Sweetie
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I didn’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I’m just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
