Nerd #1: Everything men do in their lives is for women.
Nerd #2: Except masturbation — that’s for us.
Gainesville, Florida
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
But Our Troubles Are Skin Cancer, Amber.
College girl: Screw it. Let's go soak away our troubles with UV radiation!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Kailee
He Caught Me and Said, “I Got You, Babe.”
Random guy: I came out of the womb at Sonny's Bar-BQ!
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: heidi
The Page That Didn't Make It Into Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Professor: There's a reason to go to Pompeii: To see all the crazy penises!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Adam
That’s What They’re For, Kiddo
Little boy: I can feel it in my nuggets!
Wendy’s
Florida
Or the Poor Baby Jesus
Amused girl: Okay, so the dog sits on the hay but it doesn’t want to eat the hay. Meanwhile, it pees on the hay and leaves its doggy smell on the hay… Now, the horse comes along and wants to eat the hay, but the hay smells of doggy piss so the horse can’t eat it… You, my dear, are the horse. Haha!
Annoyed girl: At least I’m not the piss.
Florida
Wasn’t That a Super Smash Brothers Character?
20-ish girl #1: Yeah, I was called ‘Sweet Pea’ all the time when I was little.
20-ish girl #2: To this day my dad calls me ‘Peanut.’
Fat lady nearby, to no one: Yeah, I got a nickname, too. They call me ‘Jiggly Puff.’
TGIFridays
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
Overheard by: I can’t imagine why.
Presenting This Year's Sweetest Rejection
Tall Hispanic woman to one-legged Hispanic man in wheelchair: Nigga, I get with you, I have triplets–got that supersperm!
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: chuck
Juvenile Alcohol Abuse Is in Everyone’s Best Interest
Six-year-old boy screaming at parent: I want a beer!
Passerby: Get that kid a beer, quick!
Islands of Adventure
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: jessi
What With Finding the Area Under My Curve
Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!
Miami University, Florida
Overheard by: bad mental picture