Black chick: I’m sorry — I don’t have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate…
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
Something Approximately the Size Of a Baby Carrot
Old lady: I’m not very hungry, I’m gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.
Lester’s Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Amen, Sister
Coworker, about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve: For people our age it’s just not New Year’s until we see Dick.
Sanford, Florida
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that’s the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
I’m Your Secret AudioAnimatronic Friend
Little boy whispering to old lady: Are you my secret friend?
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: sara aliza
Really Attractive Drag Queens Tend to Have That Effect
Man: My scrotum is so confused!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
And They’ll Feel Comfortable in Me
20-ish girl: I suppose, but only if I can dress like a whore. That way, I’ll feel comfortable in my surroundings.
Disney World
Florida
He Bought My Sore Anal Cavity a Box of Chocolates the Next Day
Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex… If it’s possible to be sweet about butt sex.
Windermere, Florida
Overheard by: I think that’s entirely possible…
Someone’s Always in the Kitchen With Dinah
TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who’s pregnant?” again.
University of Florida
Overheard by: nick
Portrait Of the Sound-Effects Guy As a Young Man
Biology teacher: Parvo disease is a disease in mammals that can be fatal; squirrels, cats and dogs can all get it.
Kid, whispering quietly to himself: Ruff! Ruff ruff! Kaboom!
Florida
