Three-year-old in stroller: I want to get out.
Mother: No. [Child starts crying.] You can’t get out. Mickey Mouse will eat you.
Cashier: Um, have a magical day.
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Sarah
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
Especially With Their Eyes Shut
Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.
Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida
Now Sack Up and Stop That Screaming!
CPR class instructor: So when they sent the babies to us, they forgot to include the faces…
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Zach
Being a Contestant on The Price Is Right? Really?
Morbidly obese man: It’s like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.
Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Andrea
…Or Me Having to Give It.
20-something woman preparing turkey to guy: I’m not sure what’s worse, pulling all this out of the turkey’s ass, or you taking it in the ass last night.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: At least some one had a happy thanksgiving
Is That by Herbal Essences?
Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove
Guy: Mind! I Said I Wouldn’t Mind!
Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?
Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute
My Manager Hardly Slaps My Ass Anymore
Hot girl with big boobs, to friend: Ugh… I shouldn’t have worn this shirt. [Lowers voice] Everyone’s looking…
Middle-aged cashier: You should appreciate them. I had a husband who would pop mine out at football games. It made me so angry, but now I’d love for someone to appreciate mine enough that he’d want to show the world my beauty.
Publix
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: guy behind them
When She Lies on Her Back, She Makes a Great Snack Tray
Tween girl #1: I have to tell you something — I don’t think Rachel is that hot.
Tween girl #2: Oh my god, I’m so glad you said that, ’cause I’m afraid to talk to people about her because everyone thinks she is so pretty.
Tween girl #1: They were doing this rating thing where they rate people on a scale, and Ryan gave her a seven.
Tween girl #2: She is totally not a seven — her boobs are inverted.
Premier Oaks Movie Theater
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: *shakes head*
Translation: Can We Have a Threesome with Her?
Man to woman: Is it weird that we’ve watched your mother having sex?
Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: Are you serious?!
