Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category

Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Ocala, Florida

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?

In a World Where Bald Britney Attacks Parked Cars? Really?

Lady: Um, I want a side salad without the cheese, and–
Burger drone: –No.
Lady: No?
Burger drone: Not without cheese. It comes with cheese.
Lady: I can’t have it without cheese?
Burger drone: There’s no way that could possibly happen.

Burger King, Columbus Drive and Dale Mabry Highway
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Have it your way, if your way is our way, too.

Steve Miller: “Same Here.”

Girl: How do you choose a good peach?
Guy: I go with whichever would make the prettiest vagina. Seems to work pretty well.

Produce Market
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Banana Grabber