Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category

Or the Poor Baby Jesus

Amused girl: Okay, so the dog sits on the hay but it doesn’t want to eat the hay. Meanwhile, it pees on the hay and leaves its doggy smell on the hay… Now, the horse comes along and wants to eat the hay, but the hay smells of doggy piss so the horse can’t eat it… You, my dear, are the horse. Haha!
Annoyed girl: At least I’m not the piss.

Florida

Wasn’t That a Super Smash Brothers Character?

20-ish girl #1: Yeah, I was called ‘Sweet Pea’ all the time when I was little.
20-ish girl #2: To this day my dad calls me ‘Peanut.’
Fat lady nearby, to no one: Yeah, I got a nickname, too. They call me ‘Jiggly Puff.’

TGIFridays
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida

Overheard by: I can’t imagine why.

What With Finding the Area Under My Curve

Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!

Miami University, Florida

Overheard by: bad mental picture

When She Lies on Her Back, She Makes a Great Snack Tray

Tween girl #1: I have to tell you something — I don’t think Rachel is that hot.
Tween girl #2: Oh my god, I’m so glad you said that, ’cause I’m afraid to talk to people about her because everyone thinks she is so pretty.
Tween girl #1: They were doing this rating thing where they rate people on a scale, and Ryan gave her a seven.
Tween girl #2: She is totally not a seven — her boobs are inverted.

Premier Oaks Movie Theater
Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: *shakes head*