Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

90% of the Time, Your Kids Won’t Even Appreciate Your Brilliance

Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

And Gummed My Sausage

Old lady to old man, as breakfast is served: Today has been an interesting day. Somebody ate half my pancake!

Morgantown, West Virginia

Tonight, on No-Context Theatre…

Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who’s Phyllis?
Guy #2: She’s this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.

Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sunny

I’d Rather Chafe Your Chimichanga

Tired-looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who’s going to burn my taco?

Dallas-Fort Worth Airport
Texas

This Conversation’s the Libretto for an Entire Italian Opera

Girl #1: It’s too hot.
Girl #2: Did you say it’s hot?
Girl #1: I said it’s too hot.
Girl #2: For pizza?
Girl #1: For everything. For life.

Venice
Italy

Overheard by: Chris

Living in a Little Island Country Exacerbates One’s Eccentricity

Girl #1: Ask me what flavor my scarf is.
Girl #2: What flavor is your scarf?
Girl #1: Beef noodle!

New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

The Kind with Compassion Supplements in Every Bite?

Fireman: Yeah, so we were all standing around waiting for this suicidal guy to do whatever, and then we got hungry.
Girlfriend: So what did you all do?
Fireman: We went back to the station and made hot dogs.
Girlfriend: What about the guy?
Fireman: I mean, the cops were still there, and we got back before anything happened. Or, well, before anything eventful happened.
Girlfriend: What kind of hot dogs were they?

Target line
Atlanta, Georgia