Professor: What would you guys do if I told you that a giant fish was going to eat you on your way home?
Girl: Hide?
Professor: No! You’d all go out and have sex! I mean besides sleeping, eating, and having sex, what else do you need to do? You’re just taking this class so later in life you can sleep in a better place, eat better food, and have sex with someone hotter!
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michgan
Overheard by: Kelli
Elderly woman: You know… It’s so hard to eat pancakes in the nude!
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Hungry person: I would sacrifice a million Asians for 10-dollar sushi.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/01/thats-actually-the-going-exchange-rate/
Girl: First, string cheese. Then masturbation!
Saint Peter’s College
New Jersey
Customer: Do you have any tea that’s like coffee only it isn’t caffeinated like coffee… But it tastes like coffee?
Barista: Uh, you mean decaf coffee?
Customer: Yes! That’s exactly what I want. I’ll have a decaf coffee.
Red Brick Coffee Pub
Guelph
Ontario, Canadia
20-something girl on phone: Wait, he gave you a bite of his burrito and you’re questioning his feelings for you? (pause) Girl, he practically proposed right there!
University of Missouri
Overheard by: Black Bean
Wannabe hipster girl: I’m anorexic!
Wannabe hipster friend: No way!
Wannabe hipster girl: No, seriously! I’m anorexic since lunch.
Wannabe hipster friend: Okay.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/365155795/well-maybe-after-this-blueberry-muffin.html
Overheard by: the actual hipsters were way more polite
Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing’s wrong. We don’t need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing’s wrong. I’m on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.
Chicago, Illinois
Serious Asian dude: I don’t like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.
Maryland
Overheard by: Neither nor
Dude on cell: Hey, all I know is lonely men love chicken…
Illinois Wesleyan University
Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
