Professor: We are going to talk about tea rooms. Which involve no tea. Unless by “tea,” you mean “cock.”
Columbus,Ohio
Overheard by: Em
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
A Yummy Potpourri Potato
Girl #1: I ate this thing… It was, like, a candle. Or a potato.
Girl #2: No, no, it was a potato.
West Junior High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
This Affair with the Other White Meat Has Gone on Long Enough
Man, pulling out salad on airplane: Now I can get back to what really matters. Chicken.
Flight over Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Nic
Calista Flockhart’s Parents Had the Right Idea
Professor, talking about his eight-year-old son: Don’t invest in anything that eats.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Some Children Don’t Blend Well
Little girl to friend: You little… Butter, I’m going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!
Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington
Living in Illinois Can’t Help Matters
Woman #1: Oh my god, they are closed, too!
Woman #2: What the hell?!
Woman #1: We are in a sushi crisis!
Woodfield Mall
Schaumburg, Illinois
Tonight, on No-Context Theatre…
Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who’s Phyllis?
Guy #2: She’s this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sunny
Um, That’s What You Said About Anal.
Worldly hipster: Do you drink?
Very naive girl: No, tried it once, didn’t like the taste.
Worldly hipster: Do you like tea?
Very naive girl: Yes.
Worldly hipster: Good, then you’ll like beer.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: The RJP
Axe Finally Made a Body Spray Women Like
Girl: What smells like lemon poppy seed cupcakes?
Guy: It might be my penis.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Taco Bell, Delicious but Disgusting
Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That’s it, I’m not eating there anymore.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
