Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!
Canberra
Australia
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
Nine Months Later, I Had You.
Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!
Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England
Mr. Duchovny’s Voicemail Fills Up Fast
Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.
St. Louis, Missouri
Axe Finally Made a Body Spray Women Like
Girl: What smells like lemon poppy seed cupcakes?
Guy: It might be my penis.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Let Me Guess– Rainbow Sherbert?
Drunken girl: I don’t know, Luke, I’m just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don’t like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn’t experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don’t know, it just hasn’t happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don’t rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don’t like it? And say, “No, this isn’t for me”?
Drunken girl: Let’s go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.
Claremont, California
Translation: I’m Still a Little Stoned
Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nic
Dad’s the Other White Meat.
Girl #1: So my mother says our dog is her “little sausage,” so she’s started calling him “pork sword.“
Girl #2, laughing: That’s got to be awkward!
Girl #1: Tell me about it! The other day my boyfriend thought she was yelling for my dad.
Cape Town
South Africa
It’s Either One or the Other, These Days.
Blonde guy: And it burned the whole way down! I think my esophagus hemorrhaged.
Skinny guy: Hey, at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University
Overheard by: Michele
Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.
Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?
Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York
Overheard by: Ldawg
Can’t Answer. Crashing.
Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!
Middle School
North Carolina
