Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Africans: Wow, They’re Fat Mon­sters and Stu­pid

Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African lan­guages.
Blonde: What sweet African lan­guages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each oth­er. Cluck cluck click­i­ty clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laugh­ing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack click­i­ty clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wan­na go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laugh­ing: You’re re­tard­ed. I don’t think any­one in Africa says shit like that.

Michi­gan

…Grand­ma.

Ghet­to la­dy on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you bet­ter be at work and not out fuck­ing around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talk­ing about, moth­er­fuck­er! (pause) Bitch, I am mak­ing tacos so I got­ta get some fuck­ing sour cream. (pause) I said I am mak­ing fuck­ing tacos. (pause) Al­right, I love you too.

Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: We­sAli

And I’m Wash­ing It Down with Lax­a­tives!

Mod­el scout, hand­ing out card to hot tall teen: I know you’re prob­a­bly mod­el­ing al­ready, but take my card any­way.
Short­er teen girl to friend, af­ter scout has left: Fuck you. The on­ly rea­son he gave you his card in­stead of me was be­cause I’m eat­ing a cook­ie. But it’s the on­ly thing I’ve had to eat to­day!

Star­bucks
Stu­dio City, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Urz