Drunk girl: I hope I get my ass kicked for eating this salad!
Houston, Texas
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
This Is Quite an Impressive Resume
Woman on phone: Man, you know what open flesh smells like!
BART Station
Pittsburg, California
Overheard by: Hannah
Kinda Like Lox on a Jew
Weird chick: I bet tuna would taste really good on a Cuban!
The Loop
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
When My God Fills Me Up, I Gain Five Pounds.
Lady #1: This cheese is sooo good.
Lady #2: Mmm, it is nice.
Lady #1: No, but it is really good. I mean, cheese is just amazing. I mean, it’s not like you grow it or anything — it’s man-made, from just milk. And a bit of mold! It’s incredible!
Lady #2: Wow, you really love it, don’t you?
Lady #1: Cheese is my religion.
Palazzo Versace, Gold Coast
Queensland
Australia
We’d Be Wide Awake, but Our Cards Would Be Stained
Guy playing magic card game with a bunch of friends: All I’m saying is that somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a table producing coffee!
Clark College
Vancouver, Washington
Why Genies Are Wasted on Blondes
Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!
Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia
British Cooking: Explained
Boy eating lunch: I am without sin! That's why potatoes come down my chimney!
Dagenham
Essex
England
Overheard by: Anthony Mercer
Invented by Mister Newton.
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
In the Same Sense That Root Beer Is Beer
Suit: Hey, Rich, will you eat a cheese steak? It’s like a salad, except it’s a cheese steak.
25 Hudson Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie