Girl on cell: Yeah, last semester the professor had this obsession with mayonnaise. It was freaking everyone out.
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tori
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
Otherwise It’ll Just Get Made Into McNuggets
Scruffy man with garbage bag to stranger: Want to buy some chicken breast?
Blue Line Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dream Big, Kids.
Girl: I want a squirrel.
Friend: I want a cheeseburger.
UT
Austin, Texas
What Are the Odds This Boy Will Be Able to Have a Meaningful Relationship with a Woman?
Son: Mom, I’m hungry.
Mom: Well, honey, I have some food left in my stomach from this morning. If you want, I could throw it up for you? That’s how much I love you.
Rome, Italy
Overheard by: naz
Eh, You’d Say Just About Anything for a Slice.
Bogan girlfriend: You don’t loves me! You don’t loves me!
Bogan boyfriend: What do you mean I don’t loves you? I fucks you and buys you a pie!
Armidale
Australia
.…If There Any Left
College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.
Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Arthur
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
You Didn’t Include the Instructions
Left on voice mail: I wanted to talk to you about these cupcakes. They are making me a little nervous. Call me.
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: friend of the cupcake king
…Now That We’ve Invented These Little Wagons for Them.
Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don’t want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
He Died a Happy Man Of Thirty-Five
Old man to teenage girl: Every time he saw an egg he had to eat it.
Melbourne
Australia
