Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1–900 Numbers

Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can’t transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn’t matter. I don’t have any friends.

Austin, Texas

Taco Bell, Delicious but Disgusting

Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That’s it, I’m not eating there anymore.

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt…

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that’s any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.

Colosseum
Rome
Italy

Are They Applying Lip Gloss Over There?

20-ish European guy: So, do you like Angela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We’re pretty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean ‘like’ her?
20-ish European guy: You know — like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We’re just really good friends. I never really thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish European guy: I dunno. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]Woman: Is it just me or did those foreign guys sound like 12-year-old American girls, but, y’know, with funny accents?

Charity pancake breakfast
Hope, Alaska

Overheard by: I’d say closer to 10