Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet…

New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about? Train

She Was Just Fucking with Him–She's Actually a Figure Skater

Girl, giving tour: Here is my favorite, one of our the weight training rooms.
Guy on tour with Australian accent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlifting?
Girl: Yeah. I'm training for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demonstrates weight lifting move)
Guy (not suppressing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snickering): Reeeally…
Girl: Yep. Also the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, unable to suppress laughter) US Olympic Training Center
Colorado Springs, Colorado Overheard by: TK

The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1-900 Numbers

Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends. Austin, Texas