Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

Well, I’m Sor­ry I Made You Kiss Her Feet…

New York­er, on cell to fi­ancée: Hon­ey, all set here for our wed­ding, when you com­ing over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (ap­palled si­lence in car­riage) Yeah, your fin­ger’s gonna go green and fall off or some­thing? What the hel­l’s wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?


She Was Just Fuck­ing with Him–She’s Ac­tu­al­ly a Fig­ure Skater

Girl, giv­ing tour: Here is my fa­vorite, one of our the weight train­ing rooms.
Guy on tour with Aus­tralian ac­cent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlift­ing?
Girl: Yeah. I’m train­ing for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demon­strates weight lift­ing move)
Guy (not sup­press­ing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snick­er­ing): Reeeal­ly…
Girl: Yep. Al­so the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, un­able to sup­press laugh­ter)

US Olympic Train­ing Cen­ter
Col­orado Springs, Col­orado

Over­heard by: TK

The Ones I Do Have Thank­ful­ly Have Easy-to-Re­mem­ber 1–900 Num­bers

Sales­man to guy pur­chas­ing new phone: Yeah, we can to­tal­ly trans­fer all your con­tacts and cal­en­dar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in Eng­lish ac­cent): Well, can you do that on this oth­er mod­el?
Sales­man: No, you can’t trans­fer your con­tacts from your old one to this mod­el.
Guy (in Eng­lish ac­cent): Oh, that does­n’t mat­ter. I don’t have any friends.

Austin, Texas