Archive for the ‘Frat boy types’ Category

If Your Ed­i­tors Had a Sham­Wow, We Would Use It Every Day

Frat boy #1: Oh, dude, a Sham­Wow! (to friend at counter) Hey, should we get a Sham­Wow?
Frat boy #2, with­out look­ing at him: No.
Frat boy #1: But it’s a Sham­Wow!
Frat boy #2: You’re an id­iot. (long pause) Fine, get the fuck­ing Sham­Wow.
Frat boy #1: (ex­cit­ed­ly runs Sham­Wow over to counter)
Frat boy #2: Fuck.

Pet’s Mart, Mon­tana

Over­heard by: Sadie

We Can Dis­pense with Talk­ing

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Ba­by’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lu­bri­cant be­fore, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m say­ing — we’re ex­pe­ri­enced.

Over­heard by: the ear

Mon­keys and Vanil­la Jews Are Fair Game

Bub­ble­head: Well, it’s in­hu­mane. I don’t think they should keep them in cages… The, you know, what-do-they-call-em… kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dum­b­ass, they’re kinka­jous. It’s a small, mon­key-like an­i­mal, not a per­son.
Bub­ble­head: Oh. That’s dif­fer­ent, then.

Over­heard by: crankyprof

Ham­let Woul­da Loved Res­i­dent Evil

Eng­lish teacher, read­ing Ham­let: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: per­chance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Al­right class, we’ll pick it up from there on Mon­day.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don’t know, man. Let’s go kill some zom­bies.

Get­tys­burg Col­lege
Get­tys­burg, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Alyssa

I Long to Feel the Pleas­ant Tin­gle of Arthri­tis

(at 4:30 pm)
Col­lege girl #1: Well, we could go get din­ner now, but it’s re­al­ly ear­ly for that.
Col­lege guy: Well, it’s not too ear­ly if you are old.
Col­lege girl #2: Yeah, they al­ways start rolling in­to the restau­rant about this time.
Col­lege girl #1: Re­al­ly? I can’t wait to be old!

Over­heard by: I’m not in that big of a rush

And Re­al­ly, Re­al­ly Stu­pid, Too

Frat boy #1: She was so dumb.
Frat boy #2: You should watch how you use that word. It does­n’t re­al­ly mean stu­pid — it re­al­ly means ‘deaf.‘
Frat boy #1: Okay, she was re­al­ly deaf.

Col­orado State Uni­ver­si­ty
Fort Collins, Col­orado

Over­heard by: Eng­lish Ma­jor