20-something hipster to friend: So…I’m officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!
Portland, Maine
Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category
It’s an Excellent Movie, Excellent Movie
Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman! I mean I haven’t seen Rainmanbut I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman!
Newcastle-Sydney Train
Australia
If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!
Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
Is Anybody Shocked That Las Vegas Has Creepy Guys?
Creepy lurky guy at bar (walking up and smelling girl sitting at table): Sorry y’all. Just smells really good.
Friend of girl (giving guy a dirty look): That was awkward.
Creepy lurky guy: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be here then.
Friend of girl: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to smell us.
Blue Martini
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Ariola
If That Isn’t Already the Premise of a Porn, It Ought to Be
Guy: Hey, you coming to my place? Allison wants someone to hang with who doesn’t have a penis.
Girl: Yeah, I’m coming, but I’m not sure if I fit those criteria…
Guy: Now I’m scared…
Girl: She thinks she’s getting a friend to girly-chat with, but she may just be getting an ear full of cock.
Hobart, Tasmania
Australia
Then He Was Like, “This Is a Job Interview, Tanya.”
Black teen girl to friend: He was like “you’re so high you don’t even know what to do!” and I was like “nigga, this ain’t the first time I smoked!”
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Hancock
I’m Not Sure Hocking Your VCR Quite Counts
Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I’m going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.
Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Alice Passed; Her Liver Failed
Girl, walking across campus with friends: I think two beers and a shot is the perfect amount for that class!
University of Arizona
Why Is That Always Your Question?
College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren’t going to stuff your crotch, are you?
Melbourne University
Australia
…Is the Moral Of Every Law and Order Episode
Chick: We just have to accept that people are crazy-ass bitches.
Friend: Apparently.
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Leevee
