Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

At Least Judg­ing by Your Let­ters of Ref­er­ence

White kid #1: Yo, you think he gay?
Black kid: No, I think you gay.
White kid #2: Yo, how did you know?
White kid #1: I blew him, you id­iot.
White kid #2: Did he re­al­ly?
Black kid: I guess you could call it head.
White kid #2: Where was I when that shit went down?
Black kid: I don’t know, but you woul­da done a bet­ter job.

In­ner Har­bor
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Mykl

Oh, No You Don’t!

Hot girl: You know why I don’t come here? Just so you can have an idea, last time I came here I lost my vir­gin­i­ty!
Queer: Oh my god! That long ago? With who? In the bath­room?!
Hot girl: With some guy, ran­dom­ly… We went to his friend’s apart­ment, and it was aw­ful be­cause I have this prob­lem that… Okay, many, many peo­ple are lis­ten­ing in to our con­ver­sa­tion… I think I want to change the sub­ject. When did you dye your hair like that?

Milo’s Garage
São Paulo

If You Re­quire Fur­ther Ex­pla­na­tion, You Def­i­nite­ly Need to At­tend.

Hot chick: I’m hav­ing a fan­ta­sia par­ty; I made it a face­book event: Are you go­ing to come?
Clue­less girl: Whats a fan­ta­sia par­ty?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks on­ly, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clue­less girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clue­less girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tup­per­ware par­ty ‑on­ly with dil­dos!


Over­heard by: Make Mine 9 Inch­es!

…And That He Watch­es Ac­cord­ing to Jim??

Col­lege soros­ti­tute: Well, I thought we’d been dat­ing for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Face­book pro­file, and it said “sin­gle.“
Non-slut­ty col­lege friend: You had to use Face­book to…
Col­lege soros­ti­tute: Al­so, did you know he had a kid?

Charleston, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Nud­dles

…That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!

Crew mem­ber to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are noth­ing. I mean, yeah, they can have their fem­i­nine touch­es, but if you want re­al weird, you need An­gela.
Friend: An­gela? She sounds nice!
Crew mem­ber: She’s head of se­cu­ri­ty. She’s two me­ters tall, and you need to take a step back be­fore you can iden­ti­fy her as a woman.
Friend: Sure­ly she’s not that ug­ly?
Crew mem­ber: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz fes­ti­val