Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

And He Was All, “But I’m Just the Babysitter!”

Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!

Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois

Warren Beatty Should Stop Having Work Done

Tall, skinny kid: He’s…like…suspiciously Asian.
Tall skinny friend: That’s what I thought too!

Arby’s
Tempe, Arizona

Beware Of Canadian Estheticians, Dear Reader

Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!

Toronto
Canadia

In That She’s an American in a Brit’s Body

Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that’s because Maggie is a tranny.

Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Adam

According to Our Bible –the Josie and the Pussycats Movie

Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!

Switzerland

It Gave Me Relationship Advice

40-something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day…

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Another chupacabra?

A Dallas Vacation Really Makes You Appreciate New York

Queer to friend: It’s pretentious, it’s stupid, it sucks, and I love it.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: keeeem

Tonight’s Movie: Bend It Like Bitchy

Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?

Baltimore, Maryland