Loud girl to friend: Calm your nipples, bitch!
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category
Almost As If Drinking Affected My Judgment in Some Way
Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that’s just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don’t know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
That’s Your Yearbook Quote?
Teenage girl to friends: The groin is the eye, no?
Teen friend: The eyes are the groin of the face!
First teen: Right!
Ferry
Larkspur, California
Overheard by: I Know, I know
Or Gave Me Religious Pamphlets. I Forget.
20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
And Possibly a Few Sex Hats
Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.
H&M
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: XT
Warren Beatty Should Stop Having Work Done
Tall, skinny kid: He’s…like…suspiciously Asian.
Tall skinny friend: That’s what I thought too!
Arby’s
Tempe, Arizona
That’s What I Got You Last Year
Drunk male friend: What do you want for your birthday, baby? I can make it happen, just tell me what you want!
Really, really drunk birthday girl, pointing at someone else: I want in that guy’s pants!
Norfolk, Virginia
Still, Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Buttfingerer
Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?“
Friend: See, there you go. If you don’t sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you’re butt-fingered.
Subway Store
Maitland
Australia
Just Like Whales.
Guy with burger to friend, loudly: Penguins are fish, and fish don’t eat fish!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: kib
And I’m Washing It Down with Laxatives!
Model scout, handing out card to hot tall teen: I know you’re probably modeling already, but take my card anyway.
Shorter teen girl to friend, after scout has left: Fuck you. The only reason he gave you his card instead of me was because I’m eating a cookie. But it’s the only thing I’ve had to eat today!
Starbucks
Studio City, California
Overheard by: Urz
