Archive for the ‘Gays’ Category

This Sea­son’s Most Un­like­ly Love Sto­ry

Girl, look­ing at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill peo­ple all day and run around.
Boy fol­low­ing her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop be­ing gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, look­ing ap­palled: I’d be busy killing peo­ple, though.
Boy, mat­ter-of-fact­ly: Well… I’d make you stop every thir­teen kills.

Ran­dom Wal­mart
Boise, Ida­ho

Over­heard by: Bun­nee

You Haven’t Lived ‘Til You’ve Seen Me Ap­plaud with Them.

Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skep­ti­cal­ly: I guess they’re nice…
Cute girl: No, re­al­ly. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup bud­dies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they’d each been con­vert­ed to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skep­ti­cal: That may just mean your ass is­n’t great.
Cute girl: Damn, you’re so cup-half-emp­ty. My ass is great. My tits are just phe­nom­e­nal.

Man­hat­tan, New York

My Dad Al­ways Dreamed I’d Say That to a La­dy

Gay dress­ing room as­so­ciate: Did you find every­thing al­right to­day?
At­trac­tive fe­male shop­per: Every­thing ex­cept a pair of pants.
Gay dress­ing room as­so­ciate: We’ll just have to find you a pair, then.
At­trac­tive fe­male shop­per: No, that’s al­right. The pants here nev­er fit me cor­rect­ly.
Gay dress­ing room as­so­ciate: Well, I’ll see if I can’t fit you in my pants.
At­trac­tive fe­male shop­per: Wait… What?

Ba­nana Re­pub­lic
Marin, Cal­i­for­nia