Archive for the ‘Geography’ Category

Leave It to the Ivy Lea­guers to Re­al­ly Get to the Crux of an Is­sue

Frat boy: That’s all I want, a girl from, like, some poor vil­lage in south­ern Italy, does­n’t speak a fuckin’ *word* of Eng­lish, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnoc­ci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you re­al­ly like gnoc­ci?

Yale Berke­ley Col­lege Din­ing Hall
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts

So Maybe She Need­ed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She has­n’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five sec­onds out of your day to see how I’m do­ing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & No­ble
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Hobo

Plus, That’s Chick­en

20-some­thing guy, about his sushi: This takes me back to when I used to live in Japan.
Brunette: When did you ever live there?
20-some­thing guy: No, I mean in my past life.
Brunette: What makes you think you were Japan­ese?
20-some­thing guy: Be­cause ever since I was lit­tle I have al­ways loved seafood.
Brunette: … Maybe you were a fish.
20-some­thing guy: Not cool.

Sushi restau­rant
Worces­ter, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Wall­flower

…Once I Ran Out of Poop

Daugh­ter: Mom­my, mom­my, that dress makes you look six­teen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mom­my, if you were strand­ed in the desert with­out any wa­ter, what would you do?
Moth­er: [No re­sponse].
Daugh­ter: [to lit­tle sis­ter] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Prom­e­nade Mall, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Claus­tro­pho­bic