Archive for the ‘Georgia’ Category

For­mer Kinder­garten Teach­ers Make Quite Ef­fi­cient Ho­bos

Hobo #1, hold­ing sneak­er, to an­oth­er: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don’t want to sweat in the shoe. That’ll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you wor­ried about? Your feet al­ready stink. I can smell them from here. Those peo­ple can smell them from here. Now put on your god­damn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I’m go­ing to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of every­one on this train.
(oth­ers on train ap­plaud)

MAR­TA Train
At­lanta, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: Fi­nal­ly, a hu­man­i­tar­i­an home­less man

We’ll Be De­part­ing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pi­lot over loud­speak­er (riff­ing on har­mon­i­ca): This is your cap­tain speak­ing, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Wel­come aboard, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Please fas­ten your seat belts. (har­mon­i­ca riff) Or we won’t be able to leave beau­ti­ful At­lanta, Geor­gia.
(does long, jazzy har­mon­i­ca riff. Pas­sen­gers ap­plaud)
Pi­lot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.

Amer­i­can Air­lines Flight
At­lanta, Geor­gia