Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
She Just Goes There to Have Sex in the Steam Room.
Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn't remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn't remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”
Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
If You Have a Very Liberal Definition of “Okay”
Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said ‘No’ so it’s okay.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Justin
Why She Shops at The Gap.
Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Old Man
That Consists Mostly of Panting and Licking Strangers
Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine… is a more quiet desperation.
University of Idaho
Idaho
Overheard by: Funnygirl
It Was Almost Like Being in the United States
Train guy: I just got in last night from Denver.
Train girl: Oh yeah? What part?
Train guy: Colorado.
South Shore Train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Chubi
Someone’s Been Reading People at the Dentist’s Office
Mom: Did you hear that Harry Lee died?
20-something daughter: Yea, and Sylvester Stallone came to the funeral, I thought that was odd.
Previously uninterested dad: Interesting fact about Sylvester Stallone- he has a penial implant.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff
Geeky girl: You know, I’ve still got my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s library card.
Goth friend: …We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
…Now It's My Turn to Say Something About Cavity Searches
Security: What are you studying?
Girl checking books in X-ray machine: Proper oral technique.
Security: (snickers)
Girl: Dentistry!
Security: Oh.
Airpot
Newcastle
England
Hope You Bitches Saved Me Some Weed
Mom: Why is the tv on with the mute on?
Daughter #1: Cause of the pretty moving pictures!
Daughter #2: Yeah! It's like an aquarium, but with Tom Hanks.
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kat