Girl: I’m not sure if I can be bothered dying.
London
England
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Behind the Wheel, Sure
Girl (reading inspirational quote): “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” (pause) Helen Keller. (to friend) Wasn’t she, like, a killer?
Indigo Bookstore
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sunissa
Michigan Girls Make a Bid for the Title
Girl #1 in bathroom stall: My poop looks awesome! It has things in it! Come, look!
Girl #2 (waiting outside stall): No.
Girl #1: Come on!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Please?
Girl #2: No! I never will.
Girl #1: I just won’t flush it and then you’ll have to look.
Girl #2: You better flush that shit!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
…Since I Accepted Homer Simpson As My Personal Savior
Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!
Canberra
Australia
Should’ve Realized He Wasn’t “Chosen” When He Never Got Picked for T‑Ball
Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren’t Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren’t we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill’s her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren’t related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
“Tulsa” Spelled Backwards Is “a Slut”– Coincidence?
Teen girl to friend: I’m too sexy for my vulva.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
I’m Working My Way Up to Toads Racing Camels Around Post Offices
Girl standing at the bar: I train armadillos to race horses around banks.
Killarney’s
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation…
Later, They’d Vomit Up Quarters
Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
The Real Story Behind “The Rachel”
Party guy: Hey, you cut your hair.
Party girl: I had to.
Party guy: Why?
Party girl: Well, you threw up on it!
Party guy: Who cares if I threw up on it?
Party girl: I do!
Party guy: Oh. (walks off)
Austin, Texas
I Couldn’t Help It– I Kept Shining a Strobe Light on Him.
College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.
College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania
