20-something hot girl to friend: He tore off all his clothes, threw him on his back on the bar, then covered his nipples in whipped cream.
Denver, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Eh, Christians Say Yes; Jews Say Hell, No
Blonde student to teacher: Is the New Testament in the Torah?
Edmonton
Canadia
Encino Man Is Her Porn
20-something girl to another: I love hairy West Coast men. If they look like they haven’t showered or shaved in a good week, send ’em my way.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
That’s What I Got You Last Year
Drunk male friend: What do you want for your birthday, baby? I can make it happen, just tell me what you want!
Really, really drunk birthday girl, pointing at someone else: I want in that guy’s pants!
Norfolk, Virginia
Are You Still Upset About My Sandals With Black Socks?
Dad: That’s an awfully big brownie. You know it’s so big it’s a Girl Scout.
Daughter: Silence.
Dad: Hey, this is funny stuff from your dad.
(daughter stares at him in silence)
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Tim
And They Were Like, “Now We Can All Poke Without Passing Around Chlamydia!”
Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I’m like, “Why? I talk to you a‑holes enough already!”
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/416332366/so-you-can-send-me-gifts-you-spent-a-dollar-on.html
Overheard by: sleeping on the job
Still, Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Buttfingerer
Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?“
Friend: See, there you go. If you don’t sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you’re butt-fingered.
Subway Store
Maitland
Australia
You Know How Iraq Veterans Are Just Happy to Be Home?
Girl: I was having a bad day, so he put me in some predicament bondage to try to cheer me up.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
I Don’t Want To Know What the “Bread” Was
Girl on cell: His thing…it was like a big lamb sandwich!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-call-it-beastilicious.html
Overheard by: aaron
Africans: Wow, They’re Fat Monsters and Stupid
Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African languages.
Blonde: What sweet African languages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each other. Cluck cluck clickity clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laughing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack clickity clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wanna go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laughing: You’re retarded. I don’t think anyone in Africa says shit like that.
Michigan
