Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

Pro­fes­sion­al Jel­lo Wrestling Has Its Prat­falls, Sweet­ie

Girl: But I show­ered for you this morn­ing!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I did­n’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morn­ing, and now I’m just go­ing to get dirty. You bet­ter pay my wa­ter bill, for all these show­ers you make me take.

Mi­a­mi, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Be­lieves in no-strings-at­tached hy­gene

Might Even Trump the Pop­u­lar­i­ty of Preg­nant or Fat?

Black guy: You keep hear­ing about how racist Britain’s get­ting, it’s pret­ty scary.
White girl­friend: Oh, to­tal­ly. I think that be­fore any­one in that coun­try over 40 is al­lowed to make a pub­lic state­ment they should take a test that’s like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they should­n’t be al­lowed to say any­thing.
Black guy: That would be an awe­some game show.


…Which Is a Great Lead-In to My Lec­ture on Gon­or­rhea

Blonde girl: I hate hor­ror movies, be­cause then I get scared that those things are go­ing to hap­pen, cause they re­al­ly do hap­pen.
Teacher: You can’t live your life like that! Those things are re­al­ly rare! Like, I’ve been in all sorts of sketchy sit­u­a­tions, and I’m still here.
Guy: You’re just too shel­tered.
Teacher: Like, when I was in Rwan­da, this guy was giv­ing us a ride and he was like “do you want to stay overnight at my house?” and we were like “okay,” and I im­me­di­ate­ly re­gret­ted that one…