Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?
Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zack
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Extra Chunky
20-something girl: So I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I had a baby.
Shocked co-worker: What?! What was it?
20-something girl: Just my period. But it was a bad one.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: don’t ditch health class
With the Possible Exception of the Dominant Chord
Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
You’d Rather Be Cheated on with Someone Ugly?
Hot girl: So when I finally met the girl he cheated on me with, I was in shock, because she was about a thousand times hotter than she looked on the picture I found.
Guy friend: Yeah. Well, some people are just not photogenic.
Hot girl: No, you don’t understand! She’s like supermodel hot, he had like no choice, even I would have fucked that Moroccan bitch right then and there.
Guy friend: That’s so hot.
Hot girl: Life is not fair.
Starbucks
Still Doesn’t Explain How the Entire Cast Fit on the Set Of Roseanne
Brunette: I don’t think dinosaurs were ever real.
Blonde: Why is that?
Brunette: If they were really that big, only like ten could fit on earth. They wouldn’t even be able to walk around much.
Blonde: Oh, you’re probably right. I’ve never thought about it like that before.
Northern Michigan University
And the Lake’s Still Frozen
Chick: The peeing politician doesn’t float my boat.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!‘
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
So There Goes My Weight-Loss Plan
Girl: I almost failed my drug test because I couldn’t pee in front of the lady. I guess I can never go to prison.
Chico, California
Overheard by: KJ
Um, That’s What You Said About Anal.
Worldly hipster: Do you drink?
Very naive girl: No, tried it once, didn’t like the taste.
Worldly hipster: Do you like tea?
Very naive girl: Yes.
Worldly hipster: Good, then you’ll like beer.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: The RJP
That Explains the Radiation Suit
Greenpeace employee to college girl: Hey! Are you pro-environment?
College girl: No, sorry, post-apocalyptic.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: rabbit
