Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

In­stead, I’ll Dis­cuss Your Pain With This Com­plete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas sta­tion at­ten­dant: She slept with the en­tire foot­ball team in high school.
Girl­friend: Maybe, but I still would­n’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Re­al­ly? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

So Many Wa­ter­shed Mo­ments Hap­pen at Ba­nana Re­pub­lic

(in the George­town Ba­nana Re­pub­lic)
Girl #1: I re­al­ly love this dress, but I think it’s a tad too short for work. I’m on­ly sup­posed to be buy­ing dress­es for work right now.
Girl #2: Re­al­ly? It’s not too short for my of­fice. But my boss on­ly hires pret­ty peo­ple, so he likes it when we wear short dress­es.
Girl #1: Did you think I’m ug­ly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your re­sume.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/who-wears-short-shorts.html

Over­heard by: Ian

Back Up– There Are Jews in Ne­bras­ka?

Hip daugh­ter: Mom, is that the same guy?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daugh­ter: Then why do they sound the ex­act same?
Hip mom: Be­cause they’re Jew­ish.
Hip daugh­ter: Re­al­ly?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daugh­ter (laugh­ing): Oh my god! Mom! That’s…
Hip mom: Don’t quote me on Face­book.

Lin­coln, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: robert tay­lor

But She Did­n’t Use Their Blood As Paint This Time!

Sober girl: Look, all I’m say­ing is, I would­n’t fuck­ing mess with her. She’s clin­i­cal­ly in­sane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she’s re­al­ly smart. There are those peo­ple, you know, that are so smart they’re like ac­tu­al­ly crazy… Re­al men­tal, and we just think they’re weird, but they’re not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do re­al­ize that she drew pic­tures of her friends de­cap­i­tat­ed, right?

Welling­ton
New Zealand

Over­heard by: Were they talk­ing about the same per­son?