20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I’d stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: akvinsc
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Given My Raspy Voice
Blonde: I like berries. Kate, you should be a berry.
Kate: That can be arranged.
California
Um, Racoon Mario Is So Much More Useful
Girl playing video game: Some girls just want to get married. I just want fire.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Kelson
We’re Imagining the Cat Lady from The Simpsons
Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there’s us and then there’s them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
A Conclusion Every Young Woman Must Reach at Some Point in Her Life
Chick: I have found that half-cousin incest is hot, but only on soaps.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
How Schoolhouse Rock Was Born
Girl: I feel rather drunk at this conjuncture!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Just for Coffee, Not for Abduction
Girl eating pizza to friends: Like, do I want to meet aliens? Yes!
Pizza Place
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Felicity
Why Will’s Parents Sent Him to His Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air
Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know…
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That’s what we do all day, every day.
Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: andromeda
You Owe Me for Helping You Realize You’re Gay
Young teenage boy: You owe me.
Young teenage girl: I owe you for what?
Young teenage boy: For sleeping with you for four years!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Abby C.
Like Divorce Mediation
Guy to girl wearing multi-colored cowboy scarf: You’re like a rainbow bandit. It’s like you’re going to rob me… With niceness.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
