To Com­ment, I’d Re­al­ly Need a Larg­er Sam­ple

Four-year-old girl look­ing at Michelan­gelo’s David: Do you see the pe­nis?
Nan­ny: Yes.
Four-year-old girl: I like the pe­nis! Do you like the pe­nis?
Nan­ny, turn­ing around and walk­ing away: There’s no good way to an­swer this.

Flo­rence
Italy

It Was Lots Of Fun ’til the Po­lice Ar­rived

Lit­tle boy: How ’bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michi­gan

Not be­fore I’m Old Enough to Spend It on Hook­ers and Blow

Lit­tle kid in leather jack­et to ran­dom man light­ing cig­a­rette: Nooo! Stop! Poi­son! I am too rich to die!

North Car­oli­na

Did He Ever Think That Some Of Us Want­ed to Be Left Be­hind?

Five-year-old lit­tle boy to grand­moth­er: If I ever meet George Bush, I’m go­ing to kick him in the balls.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168161/better-wait-a-few-years-or-youll-just-get-his-kneecaps.html

Over­heard by: try­ing not to laugh par­ent

In a World Gone Mad, She Made Her Own Rules

Woman: If any­one ever hurts you tell them to stop that, be­cause it’s not nice.
Lit­tle girl: And then you kick them in the face!

Up­per Hutt
New Zealand

Over­heard by: Sarah

I Blame My­self for Buy­ing You the Lit­tle Pin-striped Suit and Su­per­soak­er

Fe­male: What are you gonna be for Hal­loween?
Child: Al Capone.
Fe­male: But you’re Al Capone every day.

Mem­phis, Ten­nessee

Trans­la­tion: My Kids Are Greedy Lit­tle Ass­holes

Lit­tle girl with moth­er: My birth­day’s com­ing up soon, so I don’t want to get any­thing for me.
Woman in op­po­site aisle: There is no way that child is hu­man.

CVS
Hous­ton, Texas

I’ll Not Be Up­staged by a Rab­bit

Lit­tle girl: The show will now be­gin. Please sit down and turn off your vi­bra­tors!

Barnes and No­ble
Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Pret­ty sure she’s been to the the­ater be­fore

No Ice Cream for Any­body

Mom: We can’t have ice cream. You just had can­dy at the movie.
Lit­tle girl: Mom, you are such a gut­ter-skank.
Mom, flab­ber­gast­ed: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Lit­tle girl: Dad.

Capi­tol Street
Sacra­men­to, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: To­tal Gut­ter­skank

That Charm­ing Be­lief Has a One-Week Half-Life

Mom: But, hon­ey, it’s im­por­tant that you look nice when you go to school and that every­thing match­es.
Six-year-old girl: Mom, it’s not how I look that’s im­por­tant — it’s about my ed­u­ca­tion.

Wethers­field, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: too cute!