Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Ac­tu­al­ly, They’re On­ly Per­fect If She Blows

Blonde: Even though he had al­ready made a trail of hick­ies around my neck, he was ap­par­ent­ly still in the suck­ing mood, be­cause then he stole my lol­lipop!
Friend: That’s so not cool. He’s such a suck-o-holic!
Blonde: Se­ri­ous­ly! I’m be­gin­ning to think there is­n’t any­thing he won’t suck.
Passer­by: Well, then you’re per­fect for each oth­er, be­cause I’ve heard the same thing about you.

Mt. Ver­non, Iowa

Over­heard by: Ab­by

Did It Bring the Boys to the Yard?

Girl #1: So, do you know what she told me? Her moth­er walked in and she was you-know-what-ing… with the milk­shake mak­er!
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: She was — y’­know — us­ing it down there!
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1: Gross, I know.
Girl #2: … Did she make a milk­shake with it af­ter­wards?

New­town, NSW

Over­heard by: buz­z­cut

And Did She Swal­low That?

Sopho­more guy #1: She got pis­sy that I did­n’t want to talk to her any­more.
Sopho­more guy #2: What did you do?
Sopho­more guy #1: I told her, ‘I have press­ing GPA is­sues to wor­ry about and can’t be con­cerned with whether or not you are go­ing to be giv­ing me head.’

Dart­mouth Col­lege
Hanover, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: steph

Al­so Known As a White Sale

Guy #1: ‘Drink­ing the Kool-Aid’ is such a mis­used phrase. It’s even be­come cor­po­rate speak. Don’t peo­ple re­al­ize that it’s a ref­er­ence to the death of a thou­sand peo­ple?
Guy #2: Yeah, next thing you know they’ll be say­ing, ‘We’re go­ing to of­fer a Holo­caust of sav­ings.’

He Got Her So Dirty!

Ebul­lient cowork­er on phone: The last thing I saw of Jane* was a nude pic­ture of her tak­ing a bath. It’s her dad’s fault.

Over­heard by: sx­oid­mal