Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.
Union Park
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category
When She Lies on Her Back, She Makes a Great Snack Tray
Tween girl #1: I have to tell you something — I don’t think Rachel is that hot.
Tween girl #2: Oh my god, I’m so glad you said that, ’cause I’m afraid to talk to people about her because everyone thinks she is so pretty.
Tween girl #1: They were doing this rating thing where they rate people on a scale, and Ryan gave her a seven.
Tween girl #2: She is totally not a seven — her boobs are inverted.
Premier Oaks Movie Theater
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: *shakes head*
Too Drunk to Hit On? Or Just Drunk Enough?
Woman: I don’t keep any money in my billfold. You know, in case I lose it. So, what’s your favorite Bible verse?
Macaroni Grill
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: onethingleadstoanother
I Didn’t Know They Made Thongs That Big
Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
‘Cause Then She Took One of My Legs and Snapped It
Skinny girl: My roommate’s nuts. We got into another fight.
Tall girl: Oh, God, what is it now? She’s mad again ’cause you don’t rinse every drop of toothpaste out of the sink, right?
Skinny girl: No, it’s the mayonnaise! The fucking mayonnaise! She accused me of eating it! Just the plain mayo, not on a sandwich or anything. I looked at her and told her, ‘Listen, bitch, I don’t eat mayo. I’m anorexic.’ She’s accusing me of having no self control!
Tall girl: So, what happened then?
Skinny girl: I was drunk, so I threw the mayo out our front door and said, ‘Ha! Now no one can eat it!’ I don’t think that helped the situation at all.
George Herman’s
Charlotte, North Carolina
And Now It’s Payback Time
Girl: Hey! That guy pierced my nipple on Friday!
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/get-him.html
Toasting with Really Large Steins of Beer?
Lesbian to girlfriend: … That was back when I was dating this pharmacist and my sister-in-law decided to start this rumor that both of us were into this thing… [makes subtle fisting motion].
Elevator, Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
And That’s How You Were Conceived
WASP mom to her two pre-teen kids: Your father got fucked in the ass.
Micawber Books
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
With the Possible Exception of the Half-Man-Half-Woman
Young guy: I know it’s stereotypical for a guy to want a girl who’s a freak in bed, but, really, it’s just so nice.
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/what-leonard-cohen-neil-young-and.html
Why Downward-facing Dog Was Invented
Loud girl, as rest of the yoga class goes quiet after teacher rings bell: He was so fat I couldn't find his wiener!
Wyoming