Girl #1: Y’know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn’t Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that.
http://www.overheardinvancouver.ca/
Overheard by: katherine
Queer #1: He punched him in the face right in the middle of Banana Republic.
Queer #2: That is so damn rude.
University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Chick: … So she said, ‘Hey, look over here,’ and then she opened her gown and, like, all I saw were these weird big boobs…
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!
University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Joa
Hot girl: You know why I don’t come here? Just so you can have an idea, last time I came here I lost my virginity!
Queer: Oh my god! That long ago? With who? In the bathroom?!
Hot girl: With some guy, randomly… We went to his friend’s apartment, and it was awful because I have this problem that… Okay, many, many people are listening in to our conversation… I think I want to change the subject. When did you dye your hair like that?
Milo’s Garage
São Paulo
Brazil
Girl #1: Dude, I think I’m in a relationship…
Girl #2: What the fuck?
Girl #1: I’ll explain later.
Girl #2: I think there’s still half a burrito in the fridge.
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: sara nicole
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
Haughty woman: Oh yeah, he’s getting a divorce.
Friend: Why?
Haughty woman: She stalks him ever since he left. She followed him into Walgreens and tried to beat him down with a toilet scrubber!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: I would want a divorce too…
Lab-mate #1, looking at pictures: Wouldn’t that be great if it really existed?
Lab-mate #2: Definitely.
Lab-mate #1: Then people could say, ‘Where you going?’ and I’d say, ‘I’m going to Pussy Mountain.’
Boston, Massachusetts
Woman: So then he said either I have to quit smoking, or I have to have a baby.
Outback Steakhouse
Leominster, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amycakes
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
