Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Pat’s Her Dustbuster

Sorority chick #1: Pat* and I hooked up last night, and now I have a hickey…
Sorority chick #2: What is he, in junior high? I didn’t know people still did that.

Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Overheard by: Evie

If You Want Me to Listen to That Shit, You Gotta Buy Me Bacon

Redhead punk: Oh, God, the first guy I ever had sex with did that to me… Well, actually, that’s not true. He took my technical virginity. I actually lost my anal virginity first to another guy.
Blonde hipster friend: [Silence.]Redhead punk: Yeah. So anyway, what happened was–
Blonde hipster friend, suddenly eating vigorously: –Mmm, French toast!

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: lost my appetite

Presenting the Sovereign Cure for Moral Uplift

Chick: Well, as I was writing this massive document I kept thinking about that thing about how you eat an elephant…
Dude: How?
Chick: One bite at a time.
Dude: Ahhh. You know how you bury a giraffe?
Chick: No, how?
Dude: You cut it up with a chainsaw.
Chick: [Silence.]Dude: I saw pictures from the zoo when they had to cut one up.
Chick: They took pictures?!
Dude: Yeah… I’m not sure why.

Overheard by: mk