All I Said Was, “Stop Do­ing It in My Class”

Girl: Are you se­ri­ous­ly telling me how I should mas­tur­bate? When did you be­come a sex tyrant?

MIT
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts

You’re Not Sure What to Bite Off First

Chick to friend: I re­al­ly thought the choco­late Je­sus with the gi­ant dick would sell!

Mis­souri State Uni­ver­si­ty
Spring­field, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: Car­ri Jo

Maybe You Could Throw a Few of Those Stalk­ers My Way?

Girl #1: I hate be­ing stalked over Face­book. They’re al­so creepy guys that I’m not in­ter­est­ed in. They are just wast­ing their time and mine.
Girl #2: It can’t be that bad, can it?
Girl #1: You don’t un­der­stand — you’re not pret­ty like me.

http://overheardina2.blogspot.com/2006/08/facebook-stalking.html

Over­heard by: kol­by

That’s the Foun­tain on the Right

Loud guy in restau­rant: So, we were out shop­ping and there were all these women in burkas tak­ing pic­tures of each oth­er. How fuck­ing point­less is that? It’s not like they’re go­ing to look back af­ter­wards and go, ‘Oh, look, there’s Doris by the foun­tain!’

Eng­land

Tall, Dark, and Blood­shot

Marathon run­ner #1: Yeah, I re­al­ly like him, but he’s been in re­hab since he was four­teen.
Marathon run­ner #2: All the best ones are.

Nike Wom­en’s Marathon
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: shy­in­vis­i­ble­girl was run­ning with them just to hear this con­ver­sa­tion

Ex­cept That Liv­ing in Italy Could Be a Good Thing

Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bim­bette: No! I live in King of Prus­sia! If I left King of Prus­sia to go to any oth­er mall, it’d be like leav­ing Italy to eat at an Olive Gar­den. No!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/

Over­heard by: im­pressed, she has a point

You’re the Worst The­sis Ad­vi­sor Ever

Girl walk­ing through cam­pus: I can’t be­lieve you, I’m sit­ting in my liv­ing room in noth­ing but a tow­el, with mas­cara stream­ing down my face and you don’t even care!

George Ma­son Uni­ver­si­ty
Fair­fax, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: You sit on a throne of lies

So Stop Feed­ing Them That Freeze-Dried Ice Cream

Man: I just want­ed to go to the cafe­te­ria la­dy and say, ‘My chil­dren are not as­tro­nauts!’

Ted’s Restau­rant
Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Nic

Guess Which One’s the “Naughty Li­brar­i­an”

Li­brary work­er #1: Do I have to lick it?
Li­brary work­er #2: … What?
Li­brary work­er #1: The en­ve­lope. Do I have to lick it?
Li­brary work­er #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Li­brary work­er #1: Great, be­cause af­ter last night, I am to­tal­ly out of sali­va.

Main Li­brary, Kent State Uni­ver­si­ty
Kent, Ohio

God­damn Lung­fish!

Prop­er­ty pro­fes­sor: They’re on­ly on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full pos­ses­sion? ‘What the fuck?!’ as they say!

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/

Over­heard by: sa