Lady: When I was on morphine I told them I liked Pearl Jam. I hate Pearl Jam!
Eat ‘N’ Park
Sewickley, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
He’s Gonna Be a Heartbreaker
Mom: No, Joshua, put it down.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Put it down this instant, or you are going to be in big trouble, mister.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Drop it!
Five-year-old boy: Dammit, Kathy, I’m tired of your crap!
Target
Walnut Creek, California
Outliving and Outperforming Me and Whatnot
Brat: There’s no real chocolate bars in this vending machine. Stupid healthy people!
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatyork/
You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?
Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I’m a fucking pervert.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
And the Dogs Are Not Interested!
Hot drunk chick: That’s why I can’t sleep at night — because people in Knoxville wanna fuck dogs!
Barley’s Taproom and Pizzeria
North Carolina
Overheard by: Drunk Patron
What With Mrs. Butterworth Morally Judging Me
Elderly woman: You know… It’s so hard to eat pancakes in the nude!
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Is It Your Time of the Math?
Puzzled teen: I swear I’ve never seen so much math on a napkin before.
Women’s Bathroom, Wynkoop Brewery
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Bathroom Goer
Are You in the Dark About Gay Sexual Slang, Dear Readers?
Gay husband to his husband: It’s these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.
Fairfax, Virginia
So It’s No Problem If I Stub Them Out in Your Eyes?
Angry security guard lady: Hey! There’s no smoking out here!
Smoker guy #1, wearing dark shades and not sorry: Sorry, we didn’t know.
Angry security guard lady: Well, there’s a sign right next to you.
Smoker guy #2, wearing dark shades: We’re blind — that’s why we’re at the Eye Center.
Security guard lady, laughing loudly: Hahaha! Well, okay!
Kellogg Eye Center
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Ewan Macpherson
I’m Suing for Breach Of the Social Contract
Smelly drunk in silent library room: You don’t work for me? Man, no one knows that they work for me!
Public Library
Seattle, Washington
