Guy, as girlfriend walks ahead of him into store: Don’t ever get a girlfriend, man. Fucking lunatic bitches! … She can suck a dick, though.
Gas station
Sacramento, California
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
That’s the Last Time I’ll Have an Orgy with a Family of Klutzes
Large woman: Your dad kicked me in the head!
Scrawny boyfriend: What?
Large woman: And then you kicked me in the head!
Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia
Overheard by: Marg
With the Possible Exception of the Dominant Chord
Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!‘
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
Living in Illinois Can’t Help Matters
Woman #1: Oh my god, they are closed, too!
Woman #2: What the hell?!
Woman #1: We are in a sushi crisis!
Woodfield Mall
Schaumburg, Illinois
So Basically All Your Problems Are in Your Head?
Girl on cell: My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself, ‘Why can?t I say things like that?!’ And I?ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school! Ugh, I am, like, totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life?! I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN… Ugh! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/11/who-will-then-promptly-have-me-executed-for-tarnishing-the-uns-reputation-by-instigating-the-oil-for-weed-program‑3/
Overheard by:
How Wars Start: Encapsulated.
20-something woman #1: I have mixed feelings about this bar and grill.
20-something man: I hate this bar and grill.
20-something woman #2: I’m gonna burn down this bar and grill!
Las Vegas, Nevada
Professional Jello Wrestling Has Its Pratfalls, Sweetie
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I didn’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I’m just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
For the Last Time, You’re Not Getting My American Express Card
Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don’t give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Laughing
Save That Kind of Behavior for Old Navy
Queer #1: He punched him in the face right in the middle of Banana Republic.
Queer #2: That is so damn rude.
University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
