Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

Well the Eye Shadow Would Look Silly without It

Hipster girl: Why won’t you take my last name when we get married? It would be really progressive of you…
Hipster guy: No, it wouldn’t! It would be emasculating!
Hipster girl: Emasculating? Like how?
Hipster guy: Like me wearing a dress…
Hipster girl: But you already do that!

IKEA
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

… After I Broke in and Changed All Your Answers to “Masturbation”?

Student: Yeah, she said ‘good luck’ to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It’s the University of Toronto — she doesn’t mean ‘good luck.’ What she really means is ‘I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.’
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive… How’d you do on that last test?

University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: A+