Man walking down the street: I ordered a dress online and got a raincoat.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laura
Archive for the ‘Guys’ Category
Why Won’t You Live Down to My Expectations of You?
Cabbie: Hey, ever get the urge to just whip out your puppies for the driver?
Girl: Um, no. (several minutes later, while getting out) Cabbie whores!
Las Vegas, Nevada
I’m Like, “Look at All These Dishes– What’s Your Problem?”
Drunk 40-year-old dude #1, standing in line for the bathroom: Well, there are four sinks. We only need two with the number of people I’ve seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40-year-old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was peeing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/373685741/why-do-people-think-this-is-okay.html
Overheard by: slight overshare
Well It Works in Her Favor!
Girl: I’m hanging out with Claire today, that’s why I can’t stay later.
Guy: Is Claire the one with the awesome accent?
Girl: She has a speech impediment.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Leonard
The Thin Line Between Martha Stewart and MTV Backup Dancers
Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”
Plano, Texas
Isn’t That an Old Irish Drinking Song?
Neal Patrick Harris lookalike: Okay, okay: no pickle dicks on Molly!
Albuquerque, New Mexico
You’re Not Writing Your Own Vows, Are You?
Person #1: What’s that movie with Tom Hanks and the volleyball?
Person #2: Castaway.
Person #1: Oh, I’m so bored… You’re like the volleyball to me. I don’t necessarily like you, but you’re there and I’m alone.
Guam
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?
Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There’s a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…
The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia
The Dressing Will Lube My Inner Thighs for the Next Long Ride
Sad dude: The great thing about being a bike courier is that my muscles no longer respond to commands unrelated to bicycling. For instance, I just spilled a Caesar salad all over my pants.
http://www.overheardquote.com/?p=62
