Archive for the ‘Hands’ Category

So It’s Like…a Gay Bar?

Guy, af­ter burn­ing left hand: But this is my spe­cial hand…
Friend: Why can’t you just use your right hand for a while?
Guy: It’s like be­ing jerked off by a stranger.
Friend: What?
Guy: Imag­ine a stranger comes up to you and starts talk­ing to you, and sud­den­ly just starts jerk­ing you off. (pause) Yeah. That’s how it feels like.

Bay­onne, New Jer­sey

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey