Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category

If You Fig­ure This One Out, Let Us Know

Tay­al tribesman bus dri­ver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am go­ing to the den­tist’s.
Bus dri­ver: What’s wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you be­lieve that? I’m 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus dri­ver: If you’re go­ing to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch tak­en out.
Old man: That won’t do, false teeth are ex­pen­sive.
Bus dri­ver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus dri­ver (very earnest­ly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the low­er jaw, and when they grow, they’ll look great! (us­es his fin­gers to demon­strate how the tusks would look grow­ing out of his mouth)
Old man (laugh­ing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus dri­ver: Not long! You’re an old boar, but I’m just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laugh­ing cheer­ful­ly)

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html#4067720002953022860

Over­heard by: Yu­gan Dali

Re­quiem for a Dream? Re­al­ly?

Pas­sen­ger to at­ten­dant: Ex­cuse me? They turned the movie off.
At­ten­dant: Yes, we’re land­ing ear­li­er than thought.
Pas­sen­ger: Oh, but the movie was­n’t over.
At­ten­dant: Sor­ry about that, but we need to turn it off for de­scent.
Pas­sen­ger: But I was watch­ing it!
At­ten­dant: I am very sor­ry, but since we have start­ed our de­scent…
Pas­sen­ger, in­ter­rupt­ing: But now I don’t know how it ends!
At­ten­dant: They all lived hap­pi­ly ever af­ter.

Qan­tas Flight to Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Seat 14 F

You Might As Well Face It, You’re Ad­dict­ed to Lumps

Very preg­nant woman sur­round­ed by mis­be­hav­ing chil­dren: Preg­nan­cy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more com­plete when I’m preg­nant. Know­ing that I’m grow­ing this life…
Young woman be­hind her in line, in­ter­rupt­ing: Madam? You are a walk­ing ad­ver­tise­ment for manda­to­ry birth con­trol.

Star­bucks
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: The guy ap­plaud­ing her