Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category

You Might As Well Face It, You’re Ad­dict­ed to Lumps

Very preg­nant woman sur­round­ed by mis­be­hav­ing chil­dren: Preg­nan­cy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more com­plete when I’m preg­nant. Know­ing that I’m grow­ing this life…
Young woman be­hind her in line, in­ter­rupt­ing: Madam? You are a walk­ing ad­ver­tise­ment for manda­to­ry birth con­trol.

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: The guy ap­plaud­ing her

This Physics Project Is Gonna Get Us an “A” for Sure!

Col­lege guy #1: My pe­nis is get­ting stronger!
Col­lege guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
Col­lege guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bush­es now, and for a while I could­n’t.
Col­lege guy #2: Ni­i­i­ice!
(they high five)

Over­heard by: a lil.

On My Deck

Girl #1: How do you like your place?
Girl #2: I’ve got a huge deck!
Girl #1: You were one let­ter away from mak­ing me a very hap­py woman.
Girl #2: I was one let­ter away from mak­ing my­self a very hap­py woman. If I had that, I’d go fuck my­self.

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: aoK