Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category

It Did­n’t.

20-ish girl on cell: So, they said it’s not ring­worm — it’s some kind of skin virus that looks like ring­worm. And they said I’m re­al­ly lucky be­cause so far it’s on­ly on my back and stom­ach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Fri­day, but they said it’s prob­a­bly re­al­ly con­ta­gious. I just hope it goes away be­fore my trip to Mi­a­mi!

Over­heard by: sooooo glad I did­n’t sit next to her

…More Gela­to?

Over­ly chat­ty mid­dle-aged guy on date: Doc­tors love giv­ing women a hys­terec­to­my. They will find any rea­son to give a woman a hys­terec­to­my. Like, we’re al­ready up there, might as well scoop it on out now.

Ital­ian Restau­rant
High­land, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: well„,there goes my ap­petite.

Is That a Ba­by Bird in Your Bangs?

30-some­thing #1: Last night I was brush­ing my hair, cause you know I haven’t owned a hair brush in a year… And all these sticks and grass and dirt kept falling out.
30-some­thing #2: You are a dirty hip­pie, you need to use some soap!
30-some­thing #1: I don’t like la­bels, man. I don’t have soap.
30-some­thing #2: True, man, la­bels are whack. But dude, you smell.

New Mex­i­co

Over­heard by: Alex